Ashes to ashes.

They say the world is big enough for you to live, at the very least, five different lives. The only limitations being how much money is in your pocket and how far your car can take you. As for me, I suppose I've used up every one of them. This one was surely the last.

I don't know how I ended up here in the not-so-big-not-so-small city of Sainesboro. It was big enough to disappear in but, never so big that I would lose myself to it. I needed to slow down living, break the habits of honesty or dishonesty, make up a dream to live by: I just needed to think a little. I needed to get away from a lot things people never seem to be able to escape from.

So, all I had in my pocket was a picture of that girl. You know, the one you remember like a bad song, great tune but, bad lyrics stuck in your head like someone had crazy glued it to your scalp. Yeah, THAT girl, the last of the last life.

The 20's, 10's and fives came and went from my wallet but, her picture stayed nonetheless...way past its expiration date...way past any expectations of return. The corners had all but torn into some tattered nubs. The creases had worn colors from specific lines on her face. But, I remembered the details well.

I called her a heart breaker, though perhaps that proved a bit of misnomer. She was more the casual, passive retreater who refused the heart you threw at her. So no, she didn't take the time to conjure up some active cruel heart blender contraption to unleash upon the poor fools who came to her. She just pulled her hands back and let it fall. Who could blame her for being an unwilling receiver in this silly game of catch? I suppose I do.

So, I took my glass of whiskey and finished my cigarette. I took her picture out my wallet and held it in my hand. Maybe, it was easier because of the 10 glasses of whiskey, or maybe I was just used to it. I put my lighter the corner of the picture and placed it the ash tray. I shoved my cigarette butt into it very center smearing out her face with ashes. The bartender had noticed the slowly burning picture in the tray with my cigarette impaled through its center. He leaned as if to comment sympathetically.

"You hate her that much huh?"

I grabbed my glass and tipped it up till the final last drops hit my lips. I smiled and shook my head.

"No, its quite the opposite."



I'll tell you the secret to starting a new life. To reinvent yourself with uncanny results.

You kill your last one.