The Tides Of Life

          Things you should know before reading:
1) This story is set in mid 19th century, when British were ruling India.
2) Sati was a real ritual which was prominent throughout India before, but now completely abolished.




            I always believed that life is a very long journey. Clearly, I was wrong. Life is too short, particularly when it comes to a woman. In fact, life may end even before you come to know you are living. I lost two of my sisters because of a merciless ritual prominent in India at the moment. My mom committed suicide leaving us alone. In the end it’s the same thing-Life is short. I’m no exception to this however. To understand this situation more clearly, you should know my story………

            I remember it so well. We used to live in Ratanpur, a beautiful village on the banks of the river Narmada. I had three sisters. One elder, Parvati and two younger, Poornima and Rupa. We liked our mother very much. She was a kind-hearted and also a very intelligent woman. I personally believe that she had a lot of will-power. If not, who would dare to send their daughters to school in a far away town? She used to work in a nearby British Guest House. The little money she earned, she spent for our studies. The great thing is, Parvati was the first educated girl in our village. Dad didn’t like it though at first. But when mom threatened that she would kill herself, he had to agree. Now, anyway, I don’t want to write about dad. He is a drunkard and is the main reason for the pathetic fortune of our family. His name is Lakhan, by the way. Now, enough about dad...
                   
                   The whole story starts when Parvati turned seventeen. Dad had an intention of giving her in marriage to someone as soon as possible. I was doing my seventh class then and Rupa had just started going to school. Parvati used to cry every night lying in mom’s lap. Mom used to console her...

“Don’t cry, Paru. Marriage means a lot to women. You will have a new life”

“No, please! I want to continue my studies”.

                   At last, the day arrived. The engagement was done in our house. The man, who was stunned by Parvati’s beauty, offered to give two thousand rupees in return (my dad smirked). Next week, in a temple on the hill, the marriage ceremony took place. We all cried and cried when she left for the bridegroom’s village in an ox-cart. I had no idea that I would never see her again.

                   Dad took all the money for himself and disappeared for a month. Too much money to spend, isn’t it? No wonder he didn’t care about us. In the time being, two years had passed when a great flood struck Ratanpur. It was monsoon and Narmada overflowed. Almost the whole village had drowned. Many lost their lives. This implied that dad lost his job. Therefore, having nothing to do, we planned to go to Parvati’s house, our only hope for shelter.

                   But God!! We never expected the news awaiting for us in Madira. We found the house locked. There were two palm prints on the outside wall. Interrogating the neighbours, we came to know a shocking fact. Mom literally fainted on the spot. Poornima and I started crying. Dad didn’t twitch. I still wonder at his indifference.

                   The thing was, Parvati’s husband died of a snake-bite and she was burnt alive at his feet. You could imagine our distress. Mom couldn’t leave the graveyard for the whole day. We returned to Ratanpur in the evening.
                   More horror awaited for us here. Our house was completely washed away. Our whole village was in ruins. I could think of nothing to do. But dad, he did a good thing for the last time in his life. He instantly shifted us to Barsad, a few miles north. We had nothing to carry some household items. We had a pretty little house in Barsad. For a while, I thought life is going to be fine again. But no! It’s not to be!

                   Poornima had always been a very straight forward girl. She is a kind of person who enjoys every moment of life. Nevertheless, we both were more emotionally attached to each other.
But, unfortunately, fate had been against her. When we settled down in Barsad, dad wanted quite a huge sum of money for getting a new job. He told us as much. I supposed it might have been a bribe. And so, he took Poornima to town and sold her to a landlord for five hundred rupees. I hadn’t even seen her leaving. All the same, mom’s agony was unexplainable. After that, we never heard or saw Poornima for many years. Oh! I hate my father more! I really do!

                                       Time passed numbly after that. I completed my schooling and was just staying at home to do the household chores. Mom became normal again. But that took a while. Dad was now in a textile factory. We didn’t actually suffer financially with only me and Rupa left. Is it good news?

                                       However, now, an important thing needs to be mentioned here. Dad, who was not satisfied with the wages he’s earning at the factory, started taking money from rich landlords. He promised to pay back the amount sincerely. But before he realized, we were in debts. A deal was made by the landlord according to which we should work in their fields for six years to compensate the debts. By ‘we’, I mean myself and Rupa.

                                       Rupa, the youngest of all, was not a small kid anymore. She grew up to be a girl with self-respect and dignity. But actually it’s Rupa who suffered more than anyone of us. At the age of sixteen, she left school and was spending her full time on field work. She tried hard to track Poornima but with no success. But an incident changed her life completely.
                             
                              It so happened that a particular landlord went mad and demanded money urgently from us. He was desperate and warned us that if were unable to pay back the debt by the next day he would choose either me or Rupa for his wife. We didn’t sleep the whole night. We were apprehensive as to what is going to happen the next morning.

                             The sun rose. The landlord arrived. Obviously, we couldn’t repay the money. He kept his word. He scanned me and Rupa with his eyes for a while and chose Rupa to go with him!!! I wept for an hour or so. But dad was happy. He was so happy. After that, everything went on well with me in our house. With only me and mom left, I felt terribly alone.

                             But Rupa was already facing many problems in her new house. Her husband had already been married over four times. Naturally, he lost interest in women. He used Rupa as a toy. Later on, he forced her to do all sorts of odd things. At that time, a lady-servant helped Rupa a lot. She used to do all her work. Rupa soon adjusted to her new life. The happiness, however, didn’t last long. He soon became tired of her and chucked her out of the house.

                             Now, that had been the most deciding moment in Rupas’s life. I can’t say whether it’s good or bad. Anyway, a Prince named Vikram happened to pass on the same street at the same time. He saw Rupa. Though she had a painful expression on her face, he was overwhelmed by her utter charm. He asked Rupa to marry him and she agreed immediately. She never realized what a terrible mistake she had made. Vikram had two wives already. Maya- the first wife, who is generous and Chitra, a bit hot tempered but had a heart as delicate as snow. Well, Rupa didn’t mind being his third wife. She never understood such things. All at the age of sixteen!!

                             The days she spent in the palace were the happiest moments of Rupa’s life. Maya and Chitra used to take good care of her. Rupa enjoyed all the luxuries and kingly honours. Even Vikram used to spend a lot of time with her. But very soon, she found herself in a trap. After five months of her arrival in the palace, plague had been widespread in Palanpur. The first person to get infected was Maya, the second being Vikram himself. Maya died a fortnight later. Doctors were called from all parts of the country but they could do nothing. Chitra was the next person to get the disease. She left the palace immediately and never returned. Soon, Vikram was bedridden. They kept him in an isolated room. No one was allowed into the room except the doctors. But all was in vain. Next week, one cold morning, news spread around the palace that Vikram, prince of Palanpur had died the previous night. It had been a shock to Rupa. She didn’t cry but had a feeling that she’d been left alone.

                             The news spread to all parts of the kingdom. It took no time to reach us and we rushed to Palanpur to meet Rupa. I really felt sorry for her. After we went there, we found Rupa sitting alone in her bedroom. She saw us and I noticed a speck of relief in her eyes. I was happy to see her again. But the situation was tense. People already started making preparations for something......something my sister never knew about.

         We were silent for a long time, after which mom spoke-

         “Be happy today for today”, she choked, “Save your sorrow for tomorrow”.
         “For heavens sake! I’m not crying”, snapped Rupa, “and what about tomorrow? I’ll not be going to the graveyard anyway. I know women are not allowed”.
         “Are you mad?” cried mom staring at Rupa, ‘Of course you’ll go the graveyard and-...’
         ‘And what?’
         ‘Oh! It’s stupid of me to ask, but has anyone told you about Sati?’ She was glaring at Rupa waiting for an answer.
         It apparently took a moment for her to register the term.
‘What is Sati?’ she asked turning towards me. But I didn’t know too and we both turned towards mom.

         She opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again and spoke, “So you don’t know.....I’m sorry I’m enduring this.....But I don’t know how to explain......” She was finding it difficult to speak.

“Its okay mom”, Rupa said sitting beside her, “I want to know, I’m getting a feeling that it’s not going to be good”. Mom burst into tears.

“Oh god! I never thought I’d be telling you this”, she took a deep breath, “You will be k...killed tomorrow....... at Vikram’s feet”
“What are you saying? gasped Rupa.
“That’s what is called Sati. A wife should die along with her dead husband....that’s what happened to Parvati”

      Rupa sank. She didn’t know how to react. No one spoke for a minute by which time she covered her face with her hands and started crying.

“How do they kill? I asked mom but I knew the answer already.
“They’ll burn her.......”
I thought that was too much for Rupa. I put my arms around her.
“What if she doesn’t prefer to be killed”, I continued.
“The rules are specific. She will either be kept in a locked room....a dark room...without food or she will be hit by stones until she dies. Either way one won’t be living long”, mom said wiping her tears.

“Oh! But it won’t be doing her any good, is it?”
“No, it won’t. But people say that it’s quite respectable to die at your husband’s feet. They prefer to be killed that way. Just to think of that. I believe that’s the way life is”
“But I don’t want to die”, Rupa spoke after a long time, “I’ve never had a proper life”
“I know”, said mom, “but you have no other go. You are now destined to die!”

It’s pathetic, I thought. How could they kill a person so ruthlessly?

“I want to live, please, I want to live....do something mom”, cried Rupa.

“There is nothing I can do. Do you really think they would listen to me?”

And in a second, she went out of the room.

                   So, that was it. And there was more to it. After she dies, people are going to call her by the name ‘Satimata’ – a goddess. A temple will be built upon her grave and they will worship her every year during Navratri (a festival). But I think it’s idiotic. Wonder how many Satimatas are already present in our village!!

                   Anyway, the next morning at dawn, Rupa was dressed in white clothes. They took her palm prints on the house, which they locked. After that everything was a blur to me till the evening. We went to the graveyard to find Rupa clad in the royal sari. They put fire to the bodies. Rupa’s eyes were solemn....and before I could digest it, she was gone....gone forever....I wept for a long time. My eyes were so full of tears I didn’t notice a young woman coming towards me. It wasn’t until she called out my name that I recognized her voice. It was Poornima!!!

                   I flew at her and hugged her. It had been ages since we parted. She was the one whom dad sold to a landlord for five hundred rupees. I was very happy to see her again. When I pulled away, her eyes were red.
                   We talked about Rupa for a long time. After that she told everything about what happened to her. She also apologized for not writing to us. Next, we switched over to our family. I told her everything that happened to us since she left. It was late night when we returned home. The house was empty. I wondered where mom has gone. Deliberately, I found a paper on the table. I was shocked as I read it. My dad wrote that he and mom are leaving the village. I was at a loss for words.

                             The next day, Poornima advised me to go to the Himalayas. She said I would find some peace here. I packed everything and left for north the next week. It didn’t occur to me that I will never again set my foot in Barsad. So, that’s why I came here, to Manasarovar. I have enjoyed all the delights of nature here. And I became an ascetic in a monastery. Though I don’t recollect the events that happened to me, my past still keeps haunting me. I wondered what happened to mom and dad. I wrote once to Poornima.

                   It was only yesterday that I got a letter and it was from mom. It was the most astonishing thing that happened to me yet. Mom wrote that she’s committing suicide......Oh! How could she do that? First Paru, then Rupa and now mom. It was a terrible blow to me. I hadn’t slept the whole night and now I have made up my mind and I think that’s the only way. I am killing myself too. Yes, soon after I finish writing this. I have a small bottle full of snake-venom. I know it can kill people because Paru’s husband died the same way.

                   Why should I live now? Now when I am deprived of everything. I don’t have anyone now. I am all alone. I’d better die. Bye Poornima, I’m sorry I’ll never see you again. This is going to be my end......the end of Satyavati......

                                                  ******************* 

                             Veena and Sitara clasped their hands to their mouths. They have just finished reading the Satyavati’s story. They never thought that she had committed suicide. She was found dead in her cottage two days ago, blood oozing from her mouth. All were shocked at her death. She had always been cheerful. They couldn’t imagine the reason behind her death.
                             
                             Now, however, Veena and Sitara were rushing to Jayanthi, head of ascetics. They knocked at her cottage and she came out. They handed her the papers and she read them quickly. When she finished, she had tears in her eyes.

“Where did you find this?” she asked, “I thought we searched her whole cottage”
“Yes, but we searched only on tops. We found it under the wardrobe, you see”, said Veena.
“I think we should search it again”, said Jayanthi, “We might find something more”

So they went back to the cottage on the riverside. After a while of rummaging through the house, Sitara yelled that she found a letter. She read it aloud-




Dear Satyavati,
                             Hope you are fine. Jayanthi told me that you have headed north. I’m quite happy you are living peaceful. But, Satya, life became miserable for me here. Your dad hardly turns up in a day and we are starving like anything. I don’t like being here. But, now, a horrible thought occurred to me. What if he dies and I had to die with him. He is drinking daily now and he’ll die someday or the other. I don’t want my death to be like that of Rupa and Paru. That is why I am committing suicide today if I can manage it. I bet your dad won’t feel a thing. That will be a more peaceful death. What do you say? But don’t reply to this letter. I will be dead long before your letter reaches me. I just want to wish you a happy life. Bye forever.
                                                               
                                                                          Your mother,
                                                                            Lakshmi
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

 
Veena gave a shrill cry “How touching!”

“Really” whispered Jayanthi

“But wait”, said Sitara, “I’ve found one more letter”. This was a very small note.

         I and Lakshmi are going to a village far away from here. Don’t try to find us – Dad

After that, they searched again but couldn’t find a thing. Hence, they retired to their own cottages thinking about the sensitive story of Satyavati and her family.

                                                ************                   

Two weeks later.........
In Barsad...........

Lakhan was reading the newspaper. He was alone in the house. Then, Poornima rushed through the front door having a grim expression.

“Oh! It’s you! Why did you come?” he said sneering.

“I have good news for you, dad”

“What is it?”

“Satya is dead”

“What! Satya-what are you saying?

“You heard me, she died......committed suicide....you are actually happy, aren’t you?

“I.....no....but...”

“Don’t try to pretend. I know what you are”, she whimpered, “Just thought you ought to know. Read this for yourself”, she said handing him the letter.

[Jayanthi had posted the story to Poornima]

Lakhan read the whole letter, every page plunging into his heart like a needle. He knelt down, covered his face with the letter and cried.