A Different Path

         I have finally found her.
         I have found the woman of my dreams who has haunted my nights for so many, many years.
         She is so intelligent.  We sit and converse comfortably for hours on end.  She is gentle and humorous in her discussions, and yet she can delve so deeply into philosophical and spiritual realms with equally comfortable ease.  She brings so much clarity to my mind and heart to matters of mortality that simply make sense.  I have never been presented so much truth so clearly before.
         She “touches” me as I have never been touched before.  Anything from a gentle resting of her hand on my arm to a soft caress upon my back.
         We have spent time together, alone in her comfortable apartment talking, touching, hugging, caressing and undressing.
         I have gently washed her naked body with a soft cloth and tepid water, to clean off the stickiness of a warm day.  I wash her face and her neck.  Her shoulders and her arms.  I gently clean away the cares of her day as I wash her bare back and her gently quivering breasts.  She closes her eyes in satisfaction as I progress from her head to her toes, washing her abdomen and her legs, on leg at a time, paying particular attention to her toes, individually.
         Then she washes me down in similar fashion.
         We both keep our panties/briefs on, as we do not wish to compromise our relationship with sexual intercourse.  At least, not at this time....
         We then lay upon blankets and pillows on her livingroom floor and talk and touch and tenderly caress one another as we carry on soft conversations about nature, life, and the importance of being “in the moment”.
         
         As I lay upon my bed in the darkness, musing upon these sweet memories, my wife turns to me.  She is naked and insists gently but firmly upon her conjugal rights.
         She strips me bare from naval to knees as her warm hands attack my genitals.  She paws my testicles and softly squeezes my penis.  She “feels” my sex over and over again, gently squeezing my testicles with one hand as the other brusquely slides my uncircumcised foreskin forward and back upon my rapidly enlarging penis.  She then throws herself astride me, manipulating my tool into the dripping wetness of her thirsty well of pleasure.  Then, with a slight squeal, she impales herself deeply on my hardened shaft.  Leaning over me she sensuously demands that I succle the nipples of her large, firm breasts that now hang freely in my face.
         I comply, mechanically, as I have done so many times in the past.
         Her tensions escalate quickly as she slides her quivering thighs easily and quickly on and off my hardened shaft, moaning and panting as she rapidly approaches her hard orgasm!  Finally exploding with intense climax, she shudders and writhes in delicious sexual release, pawing my body and moaning loudl in deep satisfaction.  Her vagina sprays freely in continual feminine ejaculation of her fluid lubricants, now freel gushing from her swollen vaginal lips all over my nakedness.
         When she is finally sexually spent and exhausted, she leans down to my ear, whispering, “Great sex, husband!  Damn good sex!”
         She then rolls off my body and onto her side, still panting and breathing deeply.
         I just lay there in the darkness.  I listen to my wife’s breathing as she settles down into a peaceful slumber.
         Then I suddenly realize an emotion I have never experienced before.  I realize I have fallen into a habit of chosen sexual surrender rather than making the effort anymore to seek a sexual sharing and fulfillment.  I have allowed myself to become an object to be used for physical satisfaction.  I have willingly submitted myself and surrendered to her occasional advances for her own sexual fulfillment of needs and desires.  I have been violated and I have meekly accepted and complied to her pressing demands.
         My mind drifts back to the woman of my dreams, the woman of reality.  I whisper her name softly in the darkness of my mind, and I weep silently, aching for her presence and her touch.  I weep silently, wishing life had been a different path....