A Player's Confession

          So this is how it goes down every time. I don’t do it for the glamour of it, or anything like that; I do it because it WORKS! I’ve been called so many names because of it: scumbag, player, on-some-other-shit-prick, self-righteous-emotionless-son-of-a-bitch dickhead, I mean…the list is quite extensive and I’m not gonna say I don’t deserve some shit, but the girls I date, simply put, are drunks. Mentally insecure teases who have some warped idea about what a guy is thinking when he is hounded by their lust.
          Straight up, alright? I NEVER lead them on—let me at least say that—as dirt-bag as all this sounds I still always wear protection, and I always make my intentions clear, but unfortunately, what guys say, and what girls THINK they are saying are two very different brands of mentality. I mean, come on this is College! I’m a nineteen-year-old MALE who knows he is attractive, has unlimited access to alcohol, and straight up knows the design of the game.
          Ok. When a well-put-together drunk girl starts parading her sexuality in front of me, damn straight I am gonna go with it if she’s offering. There’s never a doubt in my mind, and I don’t mean them no disrespect it’s just—well what do they honestly expect of me? I’m a human being who was once left an emotional wreck by some witch-of-a-bitch back in high school…you think I am looking for a relationship in some drunk freshman who is half-way through a bottle of JD, falling all over herself proclaiming her inebriated love for me?               
          FUCK NO!
          I see a scared, insecure little girl who is learning the ins-and-outs of life through experience in a setting she probably is not ready for, and she wants to fuck me to feel anything mimicking affection.
            It’s a hard truth, but it is also the HARD TRUTH.
            Every one needs to feel that pain to recognize love when it finally finds them.
            No one is an exception in this game, it NEEDS to be played in order for people to know that there is a difference between love, and drunken, messy, she-was-prettier-with-makeup-on-last-night, SEX.
            One is used to fill the void for the lack of the other. That is all it is, and every single girl will come to terms with it at some point, the way I did when my ex reached her dick-grabbing hand into my chest, dug her used finger-nails into my heart, and twisted it into such an unrecognizable condition, that I achieved ultimate clarity.
            She transformed the love I knew into such a morbidly obscene scar, that it remade itself into blind hate. It is going to take me a long time to heal enough to trust any girl again.
          So all I see right now, is a bunch of emotional confusion exploited through the act of fucking. That’s it, and that’s what I am going to take because you have always gotta take what you can get in this world when it’s available to you.
          No one wants to be alone in any sense of the word, and this is how I deal. Just be smart about it, never get too caught up in the moment, and NEVER forget that if a certain drunk girl comes on to you, there’s a good chance that your buddy next door fucked her the night before. Whatever. Shit happens.
          This is growing up, it’s gonna hurt like a bitch if you take each hit with so much emotional investment. I am just a guy, but a smart guy who knows what the hell he's doing in order to get by.
          Yeah, my hormones are always raging, Yeah, I’m gonna give into desires, but I'm sure as hell not dealing with some misguided, broken heart in the morning, because honestly, I deal with my own every fucking day.