This is an honest (possibly too honest) poem about my autistic brother |
Beneath his simple, smiling face, Behind his earnest eyes, Within his pure and peaceful heart, A deep enigma lies. He’s innocent and ignorant, But means the world no harm. He’s distant and undignified, But has an honest charm. I love him more than he could know; I pray for him each day. And I know that he loves me too, But it’s so hard for him to say. And yet each time I see him there, My heart begins to rust. I turn and back away from him; Compassion turns to dust. He never tries to hurt me, But I’m covered with his scars. So I’ve built a mental prison; Kept him locked behind my bars. I must maintain this emptiness, For my fragile sanity’s sake. If I were to let him in, My entire soul would break. The moment I begin to feel, And my defenses fall, I know that I will bend and snap From the torment of it all. I can’t handle comprehension, Or peer inside his mind. It’s selfish, but I’m terrified Of the pain that I might find. So I keep him hidden far away, Pretend that I don’t care. Yet sometimes when I close my eyes, I see him everywhere. He has a kind and caring heart; He’s not the one to blame. I wish that I was strong enough; And didn’t play this game. |