A sensory poem of a pursuer who lost her courage in the cold |
it’s cold outside and i forgot my coat and my shoes forget isn’t exactly the right word, maybe but when i was wavering, biting my lip, deliberating and I heard the door slam i decided there were more important things to remember and better things to forget so i ran outside biting, shrieking, clutching wind icy-lacy-clover frost patterns on the burning-cold bricks my hair is whipping around my face in soft/hard tangles and i’m shivering as i call out for you the window panes look golden warm you turn around and i see myself in your confusion wildly determined a bit desperate i’ve never been good at waiting now you are looking at me inquisitive, but not entirely surprised and i can’t really remember the speech i planned on the other side of the glass i’m trying to be strong and brave and calm and stalwart and confident but its hard i’m already shivering eyes watering and i haven’t even started yet and the words tumble out in a hurt, shivering, questioning diatribe childish and quivering i say what i want to say sort of maybe not really hardly at all and its so cold I can hardly think and then comes your reassurance and i believe you sort of maybe not really hardly at all and its hard to see you through the ice a darkly glittering sheet that distorts your image and everything is out of place i just gave you all my sharp things and i don’t want to use my soft ones and i am so cold i think i am going to die we give each other brittle smiles and walk away back inside i wonder why i didn’t say all of the things i wanted to say, though …i got a start a beginning better than nothing… and i’m afraid it was because i was cold |