The doubts that race through a fluent mind but never whispered past silent lips |
Qualms of a Coward I can’t speak, My throat is so dry with the longing to vocalize what I’m feeling To pray to God to save me from myself I’m choking on the words in my throat Words that I’ll never have the courage to say I want to scream at you, tell you that there is more to me then what’s on the surface That there is more to life then what you see at first glance. I can’t move, Can’t work my legs, I feel useless I need to dance, to show you Show you all the joy and pain in my life that I can’t vocalize Need, the need that is tearing at my insides to get up and run Run long and far, far away where I can be by myself Run to show you that I’m not chained to the rules and regulations of your society I can’t breath, You’re expectations of what I should be are suffocating me The shortage of air makes me dizzy and sick I have to breath, I have to live, have to stay alive. I have to breath so I can tell the world how blessed they are to be here, but I cannot speak Have to live because of all those who have died, died not knowing Must stay alive so I can tell the world, so I can run- dance, show my joy, my pain. I can’t. I can’t think, My thoughts are becoming corrupt Corrupt because you’re filling it with lies, blasphemy My heart is beating slower; I’m drowning in the lies spinning in my head The bad, the good, the right, the wrong, it’s all blurring, so unclear The world is fading, going dark, need to speak, to move, but can’t remember why Why? I need to remember why… I have to, I have to remember Need my voice to tell the world to never underestimate the people that surround them I can’t move, but I must, to run away from the lies, run to follow the truth Have to breath, to stay alive and show them my joy my pain, Our pain. Must think, I have to rise above the lies And I can, I can speak, and scream to the world But will I be loud enough I can dance and run, you could watch me But will you really see Is my life really worth anything, if people look and listen to me but don’t see and hear me Are my doubts, worries, the lack of courage to speak, part of the lies, or is it all in my head? |