The Night I Lost My Innocence

This is the story of the night that my world was turned upside-down. If you do not like to face the reality of what sometimes happens between a father and his children, I would stop reading this now. It does not have a happy ending.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I revisit that moment every single night in my dreams. I do not think that I am capable of dreaming about anything else because it never fails. Every single time that I close my eyes, the memories of that night immediately swim to the surface.

I was five years old. I had just arrived at my father's house in the country. My mom and dad had divorced two years earlier and at the time, it was just me and him. I could tell something was different when he tucked me into bed that night. I don't know how, but I could feel it.

Instead of leaving the room like he normally did, he got under the covers next to me. "Be a good girl and stay quiet." He whispered into my ear. I had to obey because he was my father. I always did as I was told back then.

The first thing that he did was slide my shirt up over my head. He then pulled my pants and panties off. "Daddy... What are you doing?" I asked quietly. He put his finger to my lips and said nothing. That is when he inserted the tip of his pointer finger into my vagina. His rough skin felt weird and it hurt.

That is when he started to undress himself. His shaft was hot and hard for his young daughter. "Now.. Stay quiet, okay?" He said as he picked me up and placed me on his stomach. "We are going to play a game, but you can't tell anyone about it. It will be our little secret." I nodded because that was all that I could do. I was just a confused little girl.

He picked me up and carefully placed the tip of his penis at the opening to my vagina. He then slowly pushed himself inside of me. It hurt more than I could have ever imagined and I screamed. He put his hand over my mouth and held it there, smothering me as he pushed inside.

He then began to move me up and down the length of his shaft. It hurt greatly and I started to cry. He ignored me and continued to move me faster and faster, harder and harder. It lasted for almost an hour, though I don't remember exactly.

After he had let himself go inside of me, he carefully pulled me off of his shaft and laid me down on the bed. He cleaned himself using my blanket before gingerly cleaning me as well. I remember that I was bleeding.

The next day, I woke up to find a horse in the front yard. He was a beautiful Pony of the Americas named American Dream. I fell in love with him upon first glance. My dad had bought him as an apology for what he had done and I forgave him. I never told anyone about the moment, though it happened many more times. I was five years old and he had bought my forgiveness.