Hidden Depths

As I look, my eyes begin to fill.
They fill with fear, with grief, with hurt -
Hurt of what could have been, that is not.
As I look within the small distance lying beyond 
I can no longer see the green green grass
In it's place lies a blur, a landscape with no definition.
This place where I stand has no name
A place barren, in comparison to before;
I once laughed within this landscape
The echo’s travelled miles around
Filling my soul, enriching my being.
Now, now my laughter is slight -
My frowns are deep
My feet no longer dance within day and night;
Only stroll, trudge, monotony.
From light as a feather to heavy as a whale
I call, call to the one's close
But, they do not hear.
Like a whales voice undetected by man;
Alone, but not alone.
I cannot fathom which is better
To feel alone
Or, to be alone?
Time will tell….
This triangle that surrounds me is unequal,
I try so hard to balance it
But it slides of its own accord;
Like the dissipation of the cliffs
The sea takes control, like he -
He that has no judge and will not hear.
Chosen words are heard as they drift in and out
Like the tide that comes and goes,
Like the sea breeze that may caress, if it wishes?
Temperamental as the sea is he -
As deep as the sea
Destructive in nature, but
he cares, provides, controls
Parallel with the moon,
Controls movement, thought and action -
Provides shelter food and light,
A dim light.
Within that light so dim the controlling sea allows
The shards to transmit to points and places he wants;
The little fish swim around in circles over and over again
Going through the motion, but getting nowhere -
Anywhere.
And so, along this path I travel within this strange landscape
Now, the bottom of the sea.
Where tides of change may let it flourish, or be barren once more.
It changes constantly within different streams,
Different flows of thought, of being, of me.
And as I jump from these hidden depths
The coolness of the sea and it's nightlife leaves me;
I enter the day -
A day that is bright, clear and full.
Like the salmon taking its first leap into unknown territory
Fighting with all its might to return home,
A place where it is safe,
Where she can start over again.
Life, within hidden depths.