One-act play finished in March of 2007. Runs about 25 minutes. |
(LIGHTS UP ON VIC SITTING BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A CAR. TRACY SITS IN THE PASSENGER SEAT BESIDE HIM. SHE IS TIED UP SLOPPILY, BUT ENOUGH TO HOLD HER. FOR A WHILE.) VIC Radio? TRACY No. VIC We got country, classic rock, NPR, bluegrass- bluegrass? Sound good? TRACY Sure. VIC Tell you what- this satellite radio’s great. More music than you can handle. You want a sip of your coke? TRACY No. VIC Yeah, good thinking. It’s gonna be hot later on. You’ll wanna hold onto it for later. Yep. (BEAT.) Later later later. (BEAT.) And when you drink too much coke, you tend to… you know… go to the bathroom. Although I suppose that’s inevitable. Still haven’t figured out what to do when you need to do that. (BEAT.) Cloudy. We’ll have to stop soon. At least we can still see the sun. For now, anyway. TRACY Why? VIC Well, the sun’s peeking out over there… TRACY Huh? I mean- the sun… VIC (HAPPILY.) Yeah, the sun. TRACY We’re only traveling when the sun’s out? VIC Well, sure. (PAUSE.) TRACY Okay… VIC You know- bluegrass isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I got some books on tape. TRACY No- the radio’s fine. VIC It doesn’t bother you, then? TRACY No- my dad played the banjo. VIC That’s funny: I play the mandolin. I just got the satellite radio for this particular trip. I figure we’ve got a long road ahead of us, so it’s a sound investment. TRACY Where are we going? (THERE IS A CLAP OF THUNDER, AND IT BEGINS RAINING.) VIC Well, poop. (VIC WHEELS THE CAR TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.) TRACY What are we doing? VIC It knew it would rain. Gotta pull over for a sec. TRACY But why? VIC It’s best to sit and wait it out. TRACY You can drive in the rain. VIC You sure can. (HE SMILES AT HER. PAUSE.) TRACY Could you please loosen these straps? VIC You just gotta get to know me better. TRACY That’d be easier if I wasn’t tied up. VIC (LAUGHING.) Not for me, it wouldn’t. What if you ran off? Friends don’t walk out on each other. TRACY They don’t knock them out and tie them up, either. VIC Maybe not your friends. (PAUSE.) VIC(cont) That was a joke. (TRACY FORCES A SMALL LAUGH THAT GROWS INTO A REAL LAUGH.) See? You’re laughing. TRACY Why am I laughing? VIC Probably the Valium I slipped you. TRACY You slipped me Valium? VIC Sure. Stranger bonks you on the head and steals you away? You’d probably be going nuts trying to get away if I hadn’t. TRACY You’re probably right. VIC But I only gave you a little. Enough to keep you calm. Not so much you’ll get silly. TRACY Heh. VIC Yeah- before long, that’s stuff’s going to wear off. And you’ll be at my neck. (HE LAUGHS. TRACY JOINS HIM.) VIC(cont) See? We’re joking around, talking about the weather- we’ll be friends in no time. You got any friends? TRACY A lot of them. VIC Oh. TRACY And they’ll be looking for me when they notice I’m gone. VIC Now, Tracy… TRACY And they’re going to track us down and rescue me. VIC Uh-huh. TRACY There’ll probably be a shoot-out. And the police… VIC The police? TRACY Yes- they’ll bring police. VIC Of course. TRACY Yup. And the police will be well-trained- each and every one of them a deadeye. There will be gunfire. And you’ll probably get killed. VIC They’ll kill me? TRACY Sure- why wouldn’t they? VIC Well… TRACY But they’ll get overexcited. They’ll start shooting recklessly- they’ll be so desperate to save me. And I’ll get shot- probably a flesh wound, but who knows? VIC Okay, Tracy… TRACY (WITH INCREASING PANIC.) But they’ll shoot me- oh God! They’ll shoot me! I mean, you’d deserve it, but me? I’m just the victim of your twist little game and what kind of a way is that for a person to die anyway? I don’t want to die! I’m too young and pretty and who the hell are you and leave me alone and help! (SHE BEGINS TO SCREAM, THE DRUGS WEARING OFF. VIC TRIES TO CALM HER, REACHING OVER TO STIFLE HER CRIES WITH A HAND.) Help! Help! HELP! (THEY BEGIN TO TUSSLE, AND WITH A SHOUT, TRACY LANDS A BLOW WITH AN UNSECURED FOOT ON VIC. AS HE’S STRUCK, THE LIGHTS GO OUT. HE LEANS HEAVILY ON THE HORN, WHICH LETS OUT A BLARING NOTE FOR A SECOND OR TWO, BUT THEN STOPS.) VIC (IN THE DARK.) Ouch. (THE LIGHTS COME BACK ON. VIC IS DRIVING AGAIN. TRACY IS STILL TIED UP AND IS ANGRY, BUT NOT ABOVE SPEAKING. IT IS STILL RAINING, BUT SUN IS OUT.) VIC Come on Tracy- give me a break. TRACY A break? A break? What about- wait- did you just call me Tracy? VIC Well, that’s your name, isn’t it? TRACY Yes. VIC Yes? TRACY Tracy. VIC (TRYING TO TURN IT INTO SOME SORT OF LAME SONG.) Tracy, Tracy, Tracy! TRACY How do you know my name? VIC (SUDDENLY GUILTY.) Oh. I checked your driver’s license while I was tying you up. TRACY You went through my purse? VIC Was that wrong? TRACY I have some very personal stuff in there! VIC Friends don’t keep secrets. TRACY We are not friends! VIC You just need to get to know me better. TRACY I’m not interested. VIC Why? Cause I tied you up and drugged you? (BEAT.) TRACY Yes! VIC But we’re going to go on an adventure. TRACY I don’t want to go on an adventure. VIC Well, that’s gratitude for you. TRACY Pull over and let me go! VIC Was it the condoms? TRACY What? VIC There were condoms in your purse- is that what you meant by “very personal stuff”? TRACY You were playing with my condoms? VIC “Playing” with them? Good lord, no! That’s disgusting. You’d have to be some kind of lowlife to do that. TRACY You are a lowlife. VIC No I’m not- I’m your friend and I wanted to let you know, as a friend, that I think it’s very responsible of you to keep you own prophylactics. TRACY Oh my god. VIC I think friends shouldn’t be afraid to talk about acts as natural as sex. TRACY Of all the people in the world, you had to pick me. VIC Yes! TRACY Why? VIC Because you’re special. TRACY Lucky me. VIC You are lucky. And it makes sense that you’re clueless about it, because I’m told most people don’t know how lucky they are. TRACY I don’t want to be lucky. I want out of this car! VIC You’re just upset because this is all a little sudden and you’ve been taken off-guard. TRACY No, I’m upset because I’ve been taken hostage by some psychotic who kidnaps girls at gas stations and ties them up. VIC I just want you retrained while we get to know each other. TRACY And the Valium? VIC Same basic idea. TRACY I don’t want- VIC Still pretty sunny outside. TRACY Great. VIC What’s that? TRACY I said, “Great”! VIC Oh. Yes it is. TRACY Up yours, freak. VIC Tracy, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go at all. TRACY And how exactly did you intend for it to go? VIC I saw you at the gas station, and I couldn’t believe how beautiful you were. And I passed you and smiled and you nodded and smiled back. You smiled at me! A complete stranger! And I realized in that moment that if your insides were half as beautiful as your outsides then you’d be the best friend a person could have. And you seemed the adventurous type, too, which is important. TRACY Funny. When I saw you for the first time, I could have sworn you weren’t crazy. VIC The devil’s beating his wife. TRACY What?? VIC That’s what we call it when it’s raining with the sun out. TRACY We? VIC Well, you know: “we”. Where I’m from. TRACY Who are you? VIC Ah, now we’re into the good questions. I’m Vic. TRACY I mean- why are you doing this? VIC You just need to get to know me better. First. TRACY I’m trying here, aren’t I? VIC I’m Vic. TRACY Is that all? VIC It’s as much as I want right now. TRACY What does that mean? VIC It means I’m trying to start over. I don’t like a lot of the facts about me, so for now I’m just Vic. TRACY Victor? VIC Not really. TRACY Why not? VIC My mom called me Victor. TRACY Your mother? VIC Uh-huh. TRACY Terrific. VIC What? What’s wrong? TRACY Well, let’s see: You ambushed me and tied me up at an old gas station in the middle of nowhere, and now you’re babbling about your mother. VIC So? TRACY Well, I’m pretty sure by now that you’re going to chop me up into a million pieces and feed me to your garden of mutant flytraps. VIC That’s ridiculous. I use a wood chipper. (BEAT.) That was a joke. TRACY I’ll bet. VIC Look: I was kind of counting on the idea that you’d be nicer than this. TRACY Oh, you were, were you? VIC Kind of. TRACY Well, I’m so sorry! So sorry to disappoint! Guess I’m just not in the best mood right now. Won’t you give me another chance? Oh, won’t you? Cause I just know I can make things right between us if you give me another chance. It must be that I’m on the rag today- or I need some chocolate. Hell, maybe both! I’m so sorry that I was supposed to be nicer! I’ll do better, I swear! VIC Okay, sarcasm noted. TRACY Good to hear. VIC You just need to get to know me better. TRACY If this is going any differently than you expected, then I know everything I need to. VIC You just need to get to know me better. (A PAUSE.) VIC (cont) (DOING AN IMPRESSION OF THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT.) “Come in! And know me better, man!” TRACY (STARTLED BY THE SUDDEN OUTBURST.) What the hell is wrong with you? VIC That’s from A Christmas Carol. Come on- Dickens? Don’t tell me I picked up some dumb girl who doesn’t even know how to read. TRACY And what if I was dumb, huh? VIC Oh, but you’re not. TRACY How do you know? VIC I just know. I know because I looked at you, and you didn’t look dumb. TRACY Well, that just proves what you know, then! I barely got by in high school. I had to screw my math teacher or I wouldn’t have passed in time for graduation. VIC Tracy- that is repulsive! TRACY Well, it’s true. I guess a girl can’t hide from who she is! And if you can’t handle that truth about me, then I suppose you’d better just drop me off here and find yourself a new victim to take to the sun or wherever the hell you’re going. VIC No- you didn’t really do that. You’re just trying to trick me. Which proves I’m right on several fronts: first, you’re smart. Second: I’m right about you not being promiscuous. TRACY Well, you saw the condoms, Vic! You saw me at the gas station- I had four more of those things before I went to the gas station. How do you think I pay for my gas? My rent? Using those condoms- that’s what I do. VIC No you don’t. TRACY How do you know? You can’t just look at a person and know who they are. VIC Why not? You’ve done it to me this whole trip. TRACY You know what? You’re right. Fair enough! It took me an entire three minutes of kidnapping to pass judgment on you. And I suppose that makes me an awful person. VIC I never said… TRACY But I’m not an awful person and I don’t deserve this. I don’t turn tricks at gas stations to earn money. VIC Then what do you do? TRACY I’m an account executive for an insurance company! How boring and dull and dime-a-dozen is that? VIC “Account executive”? Well, that sounds important. TRACY It’s not! It’s a bullshit job with a title that makes it sound slightly better than “underpaid, overworked account peon”. I’m a speck of dust in this company. I’m a tiny cog but somehow I manage to get by and have enough left over to buy a bottle of expensive wine at the end of the week to drink with my friends who I never get to see otherwise. VIC It’s Friday. TRACY Yes. VIC I see what this is about. TRACY What is this about? I’m dying to know. VIC I’ve taken you away from your night out with the girls, so you’re mad. I understand. And had I known about your weekly rituals, Tracy, I can assure you that I would have chosen a different night. But as it stands, this is the best time to go. TRACY You know, I’m not going to lie to you. But this has a little more to do than missing “night out with the girls”. VIC Oh, I’m not so sure. You see, I find that most problems fall into the “small stuff” category. TRACY Again, I’m not going to lie to you: this is not one of those times. VIC But it seems I was right about you. TRACY No, dammit- I’m all wrong! VIC Nope, nope. TRACY Yes, yes! When in all of that verbal diarrhea could I have stumbled upon something that convinced you that I’m “the one”. VIC Better question could be when couldn’t you? TRACY But what? What did I say? Something about what I said put me on the same level as you, and I don’t want it to ever happen again. VIC You knew where we’re going. TRACY I knew where we’re going? Where we’re going? VIC You sure did. (HE DRUMS HIS FINGERS ON THE STEERING WHEEL.) VIC(cont) Yep, yep, yep. TRACY What did I say? Where are we going? VIC We’re moving to the sun. (LONG PAUSE.) TRACY We’re moving to what, now? VIC When I was little, my mother read to me. Did your mother ever read to you? TRACY Sure. VIC My mother used to read to me. She used to read all sorts of stories. Romances, fairy stories… but my favorites were the adventures. Stuff where a hero went into the deepest, darkest places in the world. Into a deep cave to the center of the earth. He went to vanquish some unconquerable evil or see some never-before-seen sight. And on the way back, it was always the sun shining on their face that they described first. The heat of the VIC(cont) sun on their face. The shining light. Despite all the hardships they had faced and the horrors they had seen, when they emerged, it was the sun that saved them. Would the act have been truly epic without the sun to shine upon them in the end? Would anyone know? Would anyone care? And when I was feeling low about myself or if I had had a really bad day, my mother would hold me. And she’d let me cry. She wouldn’t try to solve it all up- you know? She’d let me be sad, and she’d say, “If only I could take you to the sun. That sun would dry those tears, and you’d be free. You’d be free forever.” That’s what I want for me. That’s what I want for us both. Someone needs to be free forever- it might as well be me and you. (PAUSE.) TRACY Vic- where is your mother? VIC I think you deserve it, Tracy. Whether or not you think you do. TRACY Where is your mother now? VIC I’m not sure. I’m pretty sure we’ll find her at the sun. Oh, you’ll love her. TRACY Oh, god… VIC It’s in the Irish Blessing, you know. TRACY Huh? VIC “May the sun shine warm upon your face”. TRACY It also says something about the rain, though, Vic. There’s more than just the sun. VIC Sure, and there’s more than just prime rib. But I actually prefer prime rib, you know? TRACY I don’t know how you think we’re going to get to the sun… VIC More even than lobster… TRACY …But let’s stop the car and talk about this a little bit, okay? VIC I know what you’re thinking. TRACY Oh, I don’t think you do. VIC I do. I can read people. You think I’m going to drive this thing over a cliff or something, but you’re wrong. TRACY I... VIC It’s not easy to get to the sun. I mean, this car doesn’t fly. TRACY I noticed. VIC I think something will trigger it. Something neither of us expected. TRACY We need to talk about this. VIC I completely understand. That’s what we’re doing. TRACY No. I mean, we need to stop. We need to talk about this. VIC No- we can’t waste any more time. TRACY We don’t have any time. VIC Stopping would put a hiccup in the whole equation, Tracy. Like tripping on a crack in the sidewalk and then trying to keep your stride like the whole thing never happened. TRACY This isn’t a crack in the sidewalk. VIC Have you ever seen someone do that? They trip and then act like nothing happen and they look like idiots! We can’t do that. We can’t make it to the sun looking like idiots. TRACY There’s more than just the sun, Vic. Pull over. We can talk. Exchange numbers. I promise that we can be friends. VIC It’s not just you, Tracy. And it’s not just me. It’s the rest of the world. I won’t subject myself to the rest of the world any longer, and I won’t subject you to it either. TRACY But I want this world! VIC You want that crappy job back? TRACY Of course I do. Because without that job there’s no way to get the wine to drink with my friends on Friday nights. VIC So you want me to turn around and pick up your friends? Well, I can’t do that. TRACY No, Vic… VIC What if they don’t like me? TRACY They wouldn’t. VIC How do you know? TRACY Because they’re my friends, and they’re like me. And I’m like them. And I don’t like you. VIC You just need to get to know me better. We’ll be on the sun. We’ll be warm. It will be summer forever. It’s hard to be mad for long during the summer. TRACY There’s more than summer. VIC Who needs it? TRACY I need it! I need spring and winter and fall! I need rain, dammit! I need burning leaves and chapped lips and snowball fights. I haven’t got a snowball’s chance on the sun. And I think, after some time, you’ll realize that neither do you. VIC Just give it time. TRACY NO. There’s no time! There’s no time for any of it! I need clouds and wind and air. And sun, too, but I need it all. VIC I don’t want anything but the sun. TRACY Then I feel very sorry for you. And if I’m really the wonderful person that you think I am, then you’ll let me have those things. Because I don’t just want those things- I need them. (THERE IS A LONG PAUSE AS VIC CONSIDERS. FOR A MOMENT, WE THINK THAT HE’S GOING TO STOP, BUT HE STEELS HIS RESOLVE AND KEEPS GOING.) VIC I’m sorry, Tracy. I think I know what you’re talking about. But there’s just no time. I’m too far steeped in blood. (TRACY LEANS INTO VIC AND SPEAKS TO HIM SOFTLY.) TRACY Vic… I hope that one day, you find yourself a little rain. VIC That’s okay. TRACY And I wish I could be like your mother and say all of those wonderful things to you. I wish I could help. I can’t. VIC You’ve just got to get to know me better. TRACY I don’t want to, Vic. I just want to go back to my job and my friends and my wine and my life. VIC It’s too late. There’s no time. We’re almost there. (THE LIGHTS BEGIN TO BRIGHTEN ON THEM BOTH SLOWLY. THEY BOTH LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD INTO THE ONCOMING SUN.) TRACY What is that? VIC We’re nearly there! There it is! We’re nearly there and it’s as beautiful as I thought it would be! We’re going to be there any second and we’ll be far away from the cold, Tracy. The hurt, the pain, the valium, the death- we’ll be far and away on the sun where it’s always beautiful and oh, so warm. (THE LIGHTS COME TO FULL BRIGHTNESS, NEARLY BLINDING THEM BOTH. THEY ARE BOTH BEAMING.) VIC Oh my god, we’re there! Oh my god, we’re here! It’s beautiful! TRACY It’s beautiful. VIC It’s beautiful! (VIC IS LAUGHING SO HARD THAT HE IS CRYING. THE LIGHTS SUDDENLY STOP, AND WE ARE BATHED IN DARKNESS. WE HEAR THE SOUND OF THE CAR HORN AGAIN, JUST AS WE DID EARLIER, WHEN TRACY STRUCK VIC. THE HORN STOPS, AND THE LIGHTS SLOWLY COME UP ON VIC, WHO IS LEANING BACK IN HIS SEAT, HIS HEAD BOBBING AS HE STRUGGLES TO REGAIN CONSCIOUSNESS. IT IS CLEAR THAT HE HAS JUST BEEN KICKED IN THE FACE AS EARLIER IN THE PLAY. TRACY HAS MADE HER WAY OUT OF THE CAR AFTER KICKING HIM. SHE BEGINS TO LEAVE, FREEING HER HANDS FROM BEING BOUND, AND LOOKS ABOUT AS IF FOR A PASSING CAR TO COME HELP HER. VIC IS MUTTERING IN HIS SLEEP.) VIC …It’s beautiful… It’s beautiful, Tracy… (TRACY LOOKS BACK AT THE CAR WITH A FRIGHTENED LOOK ON HER FACE. SHE WATCHES VIC AND CANNOT HELP BUT FEEL SORRY FOR HIM.) VIC …I told you… You just had to get to know me better… (TRACY TAKES ONE LAST LOOK AT VIC AND EXITS.) VIC …We made it… (LIGHTS DOWN.) END |