I'm Lost

I’m Lost

Like most people, over the years I have misplaced things; my keys most often, but there have been many others. I once spent three days looking for the television remote, only to find it inside my boot by the back door. I could have blamed it on the dog, but unfortunately I don’t have a dog.

Just last week, the screwdriver I needed to replace the hinge on the screen door my wife complained needed fixing, completely eluded me until after the basketball play-offs ended in double overtime. Almost lost my wife that very night, I did find the couch, though blankets and a comfortable pillow were never found.

Looking in the mirror this morning, I noticed something really scary, it seems that I lost a lot of the hair that used to cover my head so grandly. I finally found it, in my ears, nose and back.

Several times I have lost my wife while shopping in the mall, although I usually search the fishing and outdoor stores quite thoroughly, it can sometimes be hours before I finally find her.

I have lost my car at least four times in the last year, twice in that very same mall parking lot, not all that unusual in a large parking lot full of similar looking cars, but once right from my very own garage. I know I parked the damn thing in there the night before, but when I rushed out the next morning late for work, it wasn’t there. After three hurried calls to the police, I discovered some malicious prankster had moved it from its safe harbor in the garage to the driveway outside the closed garage door.

Of course I was late for work after all that and somehow or another, I lost my job that very same day. My boss wasn’t very sympathetic at all, he seems to think his employees should be immune to such mistakes.

I’ll tell you, I am getting quite tired of all these things vanishing, only to be found so obviously in plain sight a few hours or days later!

The absolute worst thing I ever lost is my mind, I’m still searching, it’s got to be around somewhere!