Legend of the Dragon King Chapters 1 - 3

Chapter One - The Invasion Begins

         "Sir, a scout from the outskirts of Tuinfara has arrived, he says they are under attack."

         General Achmed looked at him curiously, "No one has attacked these lands in over two hundred years. Who would be so foolish? Very well, send him in."

         A lone man, body covered in scars and wounds still fresh from battle, stumbled into the room. He fell to the floor and crawled to the feet of the mighty general. "Please... there's too many of them. We can't hold them off. Oh god... the screams." Achmed grabbed the man by his head and shook him violently.

         "Get a grip on yourself man, you're a soldier for god's sake!", he slapped him for emphasis.  "Now tell me, what happened!"

         "...it ... it was horrible. They came full force, in the morning. We were not prepared. Before a defense could be assembled, most of the knights had either been killed or ran in fear, scattering into the woods. But even then, the screams... blood curdling screams from the woods. They must have been waiting."

         "DAMMIT MAN, attacked by who?"

         "Monkeys... everywhere... the monkeys..."

         "Monkeys?" asked the general, eyeing his assistant, "has this man lost his mind?"

         "Listen to me! The monkeys are still there, we can't hold them off! We need reinforcements."

         "But you said monkeys? I don't understand, how were our highly trained guards routed by a bunch of damned monkeys?"

         "They were, tiny monkeys. So small, so cute... no one expected the bloodbath that followed."

         "What did they do?"

         "You know, cute little monkey things. They ate bugs from peoples hair, they danced around, screamed at inanimate objects... oh god, they even hung from the trees and make cute little monkey sounds. You have to stop them before it's too late!"

         "Get this lunatic from my sight. Farrel, ready the strike team. Wake Dragon and his men and send them to find out what the hell is going on over there."

         "Yes sir," replied his assistant, "But... are you sure you want to send Dragon? The man is unstable sir. He's likely to kill the villagers just as quickly as the enemy if they look at him wrong."

         "Damn it, just do it. We need our best men for this and he's the best of the best. Send him immediately!"

         Farrel shuddered.  A meeting with Dragon was not something he looked forward to.  He was completely insane, and probably one of the deadliest men on the planet. His complete mental instability only made people fear him more. He was known for the sickening bloodlust he would go into when angered, sometimes dispatching a horde of the most experienced enemies by himself, in extremely violent manner.  He was not a true soldier of this kingdom, but a mercenary. Even those that hired him would not trust themselves to be alone with this man. The last person to be alone with him merely made a simple remark on how small his sword was, and how a bigger sword would probably be more effective in combating the hordes of beasts Dragon was famous for slaying. Dragon was heard to exclaim "It's a GOOD SIZE" before ripping the mans neck open with it.

         Farrel entered the room and shook the man. Dragon woke abruptly and grabbed Farrel by the throat, "NO, IT HURTS, GET IT OUT. GET IT OUT." He stopped in shock, then looked around stunned for a moment. "Sorry about that... had me a strange dream. You see I went to see a doctor about a rash and..."

         "There's no time for that now," Farrel interrupted, "we need you to lead the strike team to Tuinfara. It appears they are under attack by some kind of, uh, monkeys."

         "What? Monkeys?" Dragon shivered. Only one creature was evil enough to spread destruction using monkeys. But, Dragon has slain the beast... hadn't he? Surely he had, he had seen the body of the beast as it danced in agony. He had DISMEMBERED it. No, it could not still be alive. However, there was a battle to be joined and blood to be spilled. Man, monkey, ogre... it didn't matter. He longed for the glory of battle, the thrill of slaughter and the lamentations of the women!

         "Tell the general I'll take care of it. I'll report back when I am done striking these creatures from the land." With that, Dragon grabbed his sword and sheathed it, careful to watch Farrel so that he did not make any wayward comments about his weapon. He stormed out out the door and into the night. Finally, he would get to see some action again.

         "Sir, sir! You seem to have forgotten your pants!" called Farrel.

         "Pants? Bah, pants are for sissies and women. I must go now, I have no time for pants. There is blood to be shed, and by god, just the thought of battle has gotten me arroused my senses and made me feel alive once more!"

         "Yes" replied Farrel, looking at his exposed manhood, "I can see that clearly."

         Dragon strode off on his steed, the rest of the strike team following in formation close behind. "Come on men, there are wild monkeys out there and I have a bug to pick with them! The situation seems to be a bit hairy. Haha! I made that one up myself!"

         One of the men groaned. Dragon was always quite fond of making witty statements and retorts. Shame he was never very good at it.

Chapter 2 - Getting Down to Business... Monkey Business!

         The trip to the village had been uneventual, aside of course from Dragons' ever entertaining and witty bantor. From this came such comedic gems as "We will slaughter them. They are just monkeys, pathetic little shits compared to us! Which means... they'll probably fling each other at us. Haha! Because monkeys fling their own feces!". 

         Dragon looked slyly over to the strike force sub-commander, his second in command for this mission. "You know, these monkeys must be nuts to attack this village!" he stated as a huge smile spread across his face.

         "Sir?" replied Borish.

         "The monkeys... they must be NUTS!" Dragon repeated with emphasis, his smile growing wider still. "I'm... not sure I get the connection on this one."

         "You know, monkeys... nuts. So, the monkeys are nuts." "Sir, no offense, but are you thinking squirrels? Squirrels eat alot of nuts." "You sure monkeys don't eat nuts?"

         "I'm fairly certain sir, yes." "What about coconuts?" "What about them?"

         "Well, they come off of trees in which are in jungles and whatnot. So, monkeys living in the jungle could ideally eat them." "Ok. But I don't think I've ever seen a monkey eat a coconut before."

         "Well, why wouldn't they? The nuts are just sitting there with their round cocoey goodness, just begging to be eaten. If I was a monkey, I'd eat them. At least grant me the fact that a monkey could ideally eat a coconut, provided the rest of the food source was depleted and there were no bananas or anything else around them to use for sustenance."

         "Then... yes, I suppose they might try to eat the coconuts, then."

         "So then, by proxy of the monkeys being around and eating coconuts, provided that there was no other food source available to them, ideally a nut reference used to describe a monkey would be ironic and funny."

         "If you say so, sir. I guess that makes sense." There was no arguing with this man, the depths of this strange world in which he lived knew no bounds. It was always best to simply humor Dragon. At least, much better for your own mental state. He could still recall the arguement they'd had a few weeks ago, when Dragon was telling him about how flowers grow off of flower trees.

         A couple of minutes went by, and Dragon looked at him again. "Borish?"

         "Yes sir?"

         "So these monkeys must be nuts, eh?" Dragon laughed, nudging Borish in the side with his elbow.

         "...yes sir, good one."

         The group grew silent when they saw smoke rising above the treeline. The village was nearby, the fire could not be a good omen. As they drew closer their fears were confirmed. They were already too late.

         Bodies, horribly mutilated, lined the bloody ground. All of the houses and buildings were either torn assunder or enveloped in flames. Men, women, children... it didn't matter, they had all been killed and dismembered just the same.

         Dragon shuddered when the realization hit him, "Some of these bodies are partially eaten!" Indeed most, if not all, of the bodies had bites along them or areas of flesh which seemed to be missing.

         Borish dismounted and walked over to Dragon. "Sir, I'm not sure what we are dealing with here, but this isn't the work of monkeys. Monkeys don't eat people. And this can't be everyone in the village, there seems to be alot of bodies missing."

         "I'm sorry, but your expertise in the area of monkeys leaves something to be disired. Hell, you didn't even know monkeys ate coconuts. Pfft. Men, dismount, search the entire village for any survivors. You two, go and search along the forest line to the west, and you two along the east." Throughout the village, not only had the people been killed and the buildings destroyed, the place had been looted of any valuables. If these were indeed monkeys, what use did they have for such items?

         He remembered well the monkey army he faced many years ago. However, as evil as the creatures had been, they never stole anything. They existed sheerly for the purpose of killing everything in sight, even... eating them. This fit the description, however why were items missing? And better yet, where were the monkeys now? They had not been intelligent creatures, they attacked on sight. If any were around, surely they would be upon them by now. He prayed that these were something different, because if "it" was still alive and leading these creatures, then this kingdom had no idea of the horrible nightmare their lives were about to become. 

         "Scout team one, have you found anything?" Dragon yelled.

         "No sir, smalls footprints, broken branches, trampled grass and a banana peel, but nothing to suggest any monkeys had come through here or people had gotten out."

         Damn! Whatever these monkeys were, they were damned smart. Almost ninja-like in the way they snuck into the village, killed everyone, and made it back out again without leaving any evidence of their presence. These monkeys were GOOD. Hah, ninja monkeys. He imagined the little suckers with tiny little matching black clothing and tiny swords. Monkey ninja fighting each other with little monkey kicks and monkey karate chops making cute little monkey sounds. The idea brought a smile to his face. NO! He shook his head. These things were not cute, they were instruments of genocide and death and homocide and... of the, killing of people violently on a very large scale. Get yourself together Dragon!

         "Scout team two, how about you?" No reply. "Team two, report back. What do you see? Team two?" Dragon stepped around the building and moved towards the treeline. Team two was nowhere to be seen. Not only that, but one of the men has apparently taken his helmet off because of the heat. It was just laying on the ground next to the treeline, a small noticable line of blood just above the left eye cover. The fool, wherever he was, he was now wandering around without any kind of head protection. And to top it off, you'd think after injuring his head somehow, he would have had the sense to leave his helmet on! He would be sure to reprimand him when he found him. Dragon shook his head at the soldiers incompetance.

         Dragon slowly made his way towards the treeline, another soldier in tow behind him. "What is your name son?" The man replied "Expendable, sir. Expendable Addition."

         "Expendable Addition? That's a very unusual name. Heh, almost like you know... in plays where they have a guy who just suddenly becomes a character just so that they can ki..." he was cut off short by a loud *THWAP!" piercing the night.

         He heard the sound of something flying towards him. Instinctively he looked to the sky, only to see the bloody body of one of the members of Scout Team two hurling through the air coming down straight at them. The body slammed into Expendable with a sickening crunch, body armor and all. Random did not get back up. In the distance from where the man had come, Dragon could clearly see and hear a group of monkeys jumping around some strange contraption. "AAAAH! AAAHH! AAAAHHHH!"

         "DEAR GOD! A monkey-pult! They have built fucking monkey-pults! Everyone get down!" Several more thwaps went off and in the sky you could see the frightening artillery. Rabid monkeys flying through the air, coming right at them. One stared down Dragon as it come charging down, a look of wild ferocity in its eyes, and a knife in its hand.

Chapter 3 - Simeon Animosity

         "Aaaiiiieeeeee AH AAAH!" came the war cry of the meteoric monkey. Fortunately there was plenty of time to act. Dragon merely took a quick sidestep to the left, and waited hoping to see the hilarity of its body smacking into the ground. He was granted no such luxury. Amazingly the monkey landed in a crouch and sprang back up to its feet. Without pause, it ran towards him and leapt into the air, latching onto his vest and attempting to stab through the solid steel helmet. These fuckers were vicious AND agile as hell.

         He snatched the monkey up by its tail, give it a spinning twirl and then thrust it toward the ground with all his force, the poor little bastards head kissing the ground. The resulting thud left it either dead or unconscious. Two more monkeys charged in, Dragon withdrew his sword finally and slashed both of the beasts down in one fell swoop. Another scream came from behind him. He turned to see a monkey almost upon him. He swung low; the monkey easily pounced over the blade and into the air, gunning for his face with its teeth bared. Acting quickly, Dragon lunged forward and head-butted the monkey. The helmet issued an audible "ding" sound and both combatants fell to the ground. Only Dragon got back up, however.

         Slowly dragging himself back to his feet, he looked around. All around him war was waging. The entire strike force was locked into battle. Several men had already fallen. It had been a well-laid ambush. They were down to what looked like seven men against dozens upon dozens of psychotic two-foot tall rabid monkeys.

         "I... I can't hit it. Dear god it's too damned cute. It's too cute!" screamed one member with a monkey latched onto his head. For his adoration of the filthy beast, it rewarded him by ripping out a chunk of his throat with its teeth. The man's hands went to his neck in a vain attempt to stop the blood but it was far too late. A second later he collapsed to the ground.

         One monkey ran up to Dragon, stopping only three feet shy of him. In a dazzling display of skill, the monkey taunted him by performing a series of back flips followed by a series of roundhouse kicks. Then it drew its sword and motioned for Dragon to attack him, with its little monkey hand. Dragon reared back and punted the monkey almost the length of the clearing. "Aaaaaaaaahhh!"

         From the tree line, more monkeys continued pouring screaming into the clearing, charging the battered remnants of the strike force, now only three men. No wonder the village was so easily overtaken, there had to be at least one hundred of the little freaks. They had to pull back, there were simply too many of them.

         They didn't stand a chance. Dragon gave the retreat call. "Fucking run!" He jumped onto his horse and was off like a bullet. As fast as these monkeys were, they were no match for a horse. He looked back and saw two men following behind him. A third attempted to mount his horse but both horse and rider were brought down in the frenzy of a monkey pile.

         A monkey ran in circles waving the arm of one of his men, screaming incoherently. Another monkey appeared to be humping the base of a tree. Yet another monkey was sitting with the severed head of a man, picking bugs off of it and eating them. Meanwhile next to him, another monkey was eating a severed head.  On a log, three monkeys seemed to be sitting in silent horror at the events taking place.  The first, appeared to be covering his eyes to block of the scene.  The next, covered his ears, the agonizing screams proving too much, maybe.  The third, covered his mouth... Why his mouth?  Perhaps it had made him sick and he was about to vomit? 

         Strange, psychotic creatures these monkeys were, and with a fearless bloodlust he had never seen before. These were not the monkeys of his past, these were something much more deadly.

         He had to at least make it back to the barracks and get reinforcements. Though by that time, what was the point? The village had already been lost; none of his men could have survived that onslaught. No. There was sense in sending yet more men to their death. There were other villages still out there that may or may not have fallen already. Getting solders to those areas would be their main concern right now.

         When they arrived at the barracks, General Achmed had not been please with the report. "Damn it Dragon, this can't be happening. No enemy has won a battle against our well trained forces in over two hundred years!"

         "With all due respect for your 'well trained' army, they haven't lost a battle in that time because no one has actually bothered to attack this pitiful place in two hundred years."
"Which means we have never lost a battle in that time."

         "...You haven't won one either."

         "We can sit and argue semantics all day, but the bottom line is we have the most successful army in the land!"

         "I feel I should point out, you have the only army in the land. There is nothing around here worth having, no resources, nothing. No one else was dumb enough to settle here."

         "Well, you certainly had no problem offering your services to us."

         "I needed a vacation, I knew I wouldn't see any real action here anyway."

         "You are insane and unworthy to be a part of this army. For gods sake man, you aren't even wearing any pants!"

         "Yeah, well, you touch yourself to pictures of horses." The General stood speechless. Regardless of whether or not it was true, there was simply no coming back from that. Good move Dragon, good move.

         "Enough of this. Anyway, how do we stop these damned monkey invaders?"

         "First of all, get as many solders to the villages that surrounded Tuinfara as you can. They might not attack them all, but at least when they pick one it will give us an idea of where they will be marching towards next. Then we can mount a decent counter attack against them along the way, catch them off guard."

         "Consider it done."

         "Secondly, send some scouts to try and follow this monkey force as closely as they can. Have them report back to us with anything that might be helpful. And finally...", Dragon took one last look over the remnants of the strike team, "give me a group of the fastest messengers you have. We are going to need some outside assistance."

         "I will not ask another kingdom for aid! Ours is a proud land and we can handle this ourselves."

         "That's not what I meant. See, there are some friends of mine who I would like to bring here. We've... worked together in the past."

         "Fine, if it will help rid the land of this vermin, so be it.  But keep this quiet, word must not get out that our kingdom is in trouble." Dragon smiled. It had been a long time since he had had the pleasure of fighting alongside anyone from his former group. At least these people, he knew, could be trusted.