The Third Switch

“So what do you think?”

Sebastian studied the architecture of the condo, looking for any imperfections that he could use to pass on the room.  His realtor had shown him ten structures so far and he had passed on every single one of them.  He didn’t like small apartments because he felt cramped and he detested the bigger ones as it made him feel so alone.  However, he was starting to see something in this condo that he might like.  The pure white walls were painted perfectly, allowing the light to strike them creating a more spacious area.

“It's a rather interesting home.  The design was adapted from a 17th century spiritual artist who painted his idea of the future. Its design is meant to express dreams, heaven and the beyond,” she continued.

He listened to her without acknowledging her presence.  So far, none of the places he had been shown had touched him emotionally, at least not how he wanted.  His past was a cryptic mess containing pain and sorrow, and all he wanted to do now was die.  Not completely, but he felt really close to getting to that place.  But for some odd reason, this place felt energetic enough to inspire him to live.  He turned to his realtor who braced herself for the upcoming rejection.

“How much?” was his reply to her question.  She smiled broadly, her job now officially over.

More than two weeks later, he was still not moved into his new place.  All his possessions, having sat in a storage facility for six months, still sat in their boxes.  His freelance writing gig gave him plenty of freedom to loaf around the place, which he did plenty of thus far.  Now having been up for more than twenty-four hours, he decided he needed a little nap to refresh his brainpower.  He turned to his left and flicked the switch that powered the lamp sitting on his side table.  It was then that he noticed that there were three switches on his wall.  He studied them with puzzled curiosity.  He knew the far left switch controlled the lamp and the middle operated the fan above his head.  But what did the third one do?

They always said curiosity killed the cat but he was safe in his condo, right?  He reached over and flicked the switch waiting for something extraordinary to happen but nothing did.  But slowly, he began to look at his arm and realized that it was bones.  He turned his gaze to the rest of his body and saw that he was a complete skeleton from head to toe.  He reached over, carefully as he wasn’t sure he could fall apart, and grabbed a mirror from the box next to him.  He raised the mirror to his face and studied the skull that looked back at him.  Facial expressions such as winking or smiling didn’t show but when he opened his mouth, he could see the teeth clanking.

He jumped out of bed and ran from the bedroom but the second he left the bed, his skin, clothes and all hair particles returned.  He pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming and then jumped back into bed.  He looked down to see his skeleton form return.  For the next several minutes, he flicked the switch over and over again, like a little kid, watching his body change to and fro.

“Okay so lie right there and just hit that switch,” he said to his best friend, Eric, a few hours later.

“And then what?” Eric said.

“You’ll see,” Sebastian said.

“You know how gay that sounds?”

“Just flick the switch,” Sebastian said.

Sighing, Eric reached over and flicked the switch closest to him.  Almost immediately, Sebastian mouth flew open and he stood speechless as he stared at his friend.  He had known Eric for as long as they both lived but nothing prepared him for what he was looking at.  Less than a second after the big moment, his best friend went from a seemingly normal looking guy to one of the hottest chicks he had ever seen.

It took Eric a moment to notice that his hairy arms had disappeared and were replaced by a more slender figure.  He jumped out of the bed and shock only to have his boyish good looks back.

“Why would you do that to me!” He screamed, “Turn me into a girl?”

“That wasn’t supposed to happen.  You were supposed to become a skeleton.  See?”  Sebastian jumped back in the bed, his skeleton form reappearing once again.

“This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced,” Eric said.  He jumped back into the bed, his womanly body rolling next to his friend.  “What do you think this is?” He asked, also shocked by how his voice had also changed.

“I don’t know,” Sebastian, said, “I thought it just showed people in the form of bones but now I’m not so sure.”

“Here’s an idea.  Despite my superb looks and my insatiable appetite for sex with females, I could never help but think what it would be like to be a woman.  It has always been one of my deepest what ifs.  Perhaps the switch shows you what you wish you could be.”

“And me?”

“Come on, Sebastian.  You hate to admit it, but ever since your wife died two years ago, you’ve been on a downward spiral.  I know even though I never let on, that you’ve wondered what it would be like to be dead.  Now you know.”

Sebastian let this realization sink in and stretched his hands behind his head.  It was time he stopped feeling sorry that he had survived.  It was pure luck and had nothing to do with him. Eric (the female version) gasped and he looked down to find Sebastian's normal body form returning.  “I guess I don’t feel like dying anymore,” he said smiling.

“So, what do we do now?”

“Get out of my bed, Eric.”