For whom dying is a passion |
Time has arrived for me to die again. I am hopeful that this time I’ll escape death. But hopes cannot save me from death. If it’s time for me to die then I have to. “How many times can a person die?” I asked this question to my knowledgeable friend. “One time”, he replied. Was he correct? For me death occurs whenever body’s internal energy goes below a certain level. Obviously, there are reasons because of which death occurs. Pain is the only sure thing that comes with death; sometimes less, sometimes more. My first death occurred when I was 4 years old. My mom told me about this death. She called it a normal process but for me it was a death. I was very young at that time so I don’t remember her face. Only some lost memories are there. Those memories make me believe that I surely died when I was four. She lived in my neighborhood. I remember her as my first friend ever. What days those were! As we didn’t have much school to attend, we used to spend the whole day freaking out. In school, our favorite sitting location was the last bench in the middle row. My mom told me that when her father got transferred, I remained numb for two weeks. Kids forget things fast. So did I. The only memory left was me and her sitting together on the last bench in the middle row. So, two weeks after death, I recovered. Hey!! Don’t panic, I’ll not pen all my deaths here. I’ll pen only those that are still alive in my memories; I burnt the others in fire. My second death occurred when my tenth grade friend responded to me with “I like you too”. You might be thinking, how the hell a person can die when his dream girl accepted his proposal, I say he can die if his girl friend’s father saw them standing far away from the crowd of batch-mates and, that too hand-in-hand. A long session of falling apart and coming together followed. I died a little every time we fell apart. Don’t think I am a weak person who dies every time something emotional happens. I’ve faced all my Life's battles boldly. I have suffered death only in the hands of my loved ones – sometimes intentionally, sometimes circumstantially. My belief in dying while being alive got strengthen when my closest friend’s baby died in her mother's womb because of some infection. My friend and his wife suffered small deaths for five months by remembering the plans and dreams that they had built for their child. Sometimes death can be momentary, lasting only for few hours or few days. But sometimes it can last for a large part of Life. I even say that a person can suffer multiple deaths in parallel. First one can occur due to breakup, another when your best friend deceives you for a meager amount of money and the next one when the person for whom you care the most, doesn’t listen to you for some foolish reasons. Deaths can also occur when you can’t control some situation. It occurred to me when something happened to somebody dear to me. “Somebody dear” can be anybody. I remember that my fists and jaws tightened up many times to fight for that person. But the situation didn’t allow me to do so and I had no choice except to burn, to die. The latest death that I suffered was dynamic. It occurred to me whenever the person responsible for it entered my vicinity. After experiencing so many deaths, I’ve developed an affinity for it. But then sitting in this restaurant also, I was fearing death. Actually, today was a big day for me so I wanted to avoid death. I gulped two cups of coffee while waiting for her. On her arrival, without much hooks and nooks, I proposed to her to spend lives together with me. She clutched my hand and smiled. On seeing her face glowing with a smile I was not able to restrain myself from dying. The only thing that was additional in this death was that I suffered “SWEET” pain. |