Family or Career?

FAMILY OR CAREER?

Everyday across the country, probably every second of the day, a woman faces the dilemma, "Should I postpone having a job and stay home with my kids?"  Obviously, the answer to this is different for every household, due to different income, health and other circumstances. 

Obviously the upper-class or higher educated woman can hire a competent babysitter, find a Day Care Center or have family take care of her children.  The middle-class women, what there is left of them these days, can find a Day Care Center or family to help, but it may take every cent of their earnings.  Some do this rather than stay home with their kids thinking they will not be able to gain employment later.  The less fortunate women are forced to have the job, their kids sometimes left unattended called Latch-key kids, or thank God to have other family to help.  There is the unusual woman that just says, "No," putting off having a family, saving and saving for the day to be a housewife, able to care for her children.  Sometimes this day doesn't come.  She has no family to show for a lifetime.

It has been brought to my attention that I forgot the woman whose husband does not make as much money. If she makes a huge amount, obviously the best option may be for the husband to stay with the children, a HOUSEMAN. 

As we all know sometimes marriages don't always work out.  While some housewives prepare for careers these days, a good insurance policy, the "Houseman" should better himself too.  It is also possible that the wife would feel "female chauvinistic" and resent a man, who is supposed to be bigger, smarter and wiser, that doesn't attempt to do better.  With a good job, he can hire help.  It can work the other direction.  We have to do our best.  There is another situation.  My cousin with a photographic memory was promoted fast to upper management with the telephone company.  When her husband found out she made more money, he divorced her.  Maybe he thought it was deceit.  Who knows what really brings people together or splits them apart? 

It's established that we need kids.  Some religions like the LDS Church say it is our duty to replenish the earth.  Kids add more joy to life than the heartache of problems that arise.  No one should be alone when sick or in his or her old age.  Spouses sometimes ask for a divorce, but children are always your kids.

The fact is, the cost of living is high.  Anything to can happen, even to the upper-class and higher educated.  There are lawsuits, underinsured catastrophes or a divorce or two.  We don't like to here this, but we must watch every dollar.  I don't mean watch the dollar bill as you hand it to the fancy boutique, when you know that you can't afford it.  What might a father buy that is frivolous?  My father had every tool imaginable.  After his death only our small dog could enter the garage.  They do it too.

If you bear a child, you take responsibility to see him/her through high school, and should prepare the child for college.  These days, they need to go to college, as it's tougher and tougher to get that job.  Secretaries are now asked about Bachelor's degrees from corporations.  Grants and loans should be available at that time, but do you want him or her to start life with a huge loan?  Hopefully these will be available 18 years from now.  Save every penny!!  Cut coupons, cut your grocery bill with cheaper still nutritious food.  Cut your clothing bill.  We have been spoiled the last thirty years, with clothing made in China, Mexico and other countries, made cheaper there than homemade garments.  These people may eventually revolt.  Learn to sew and do this when  you see that it is cheaper.  A daughter may enjoy it.  Remember fashion rather than fad as the style looks nice longer.  Repair clothing.  Husband or even the wife may repair small appliances.  You could even add a room to the house for a roommate.  You can still party.  Parties can be pot luck.  The days of "Leave it to Beaver" homes are gone for many.  The middle-class is disappearing.  Check out some books on cost saving.  Most of all use your head.  All this is to save money that a woman can stay with her child or get a proper care giver. 

Children must not be left alone before age 11 according to law.  They need help with homework, nurturing when sick and good old fashioned communication.  Your children need you.  My mother had a horror story.  She returned from work to hear a neighbor say, "Your boy will be sick.  The babysitter puts him in bed, as you leave.  He's in bed all day."  Not trusting another babysitter, Mom quit her job.  It was tough with, later on with 6 mouths to feed, in expensive Los Angeles.  She cut out coupons, and comparison shopped to save every penny.  We ate beans, with one good meal after church on Sunday.  That night we ate crackers and milk.  We made our own clothing.  I didn't mind, wanting to later become a dress designer.  My brothers had ready-to-wear, but a teacher sent a note home with one brother saying he had holes in his shoes.  I remember cutting up cereal boxes to cover a hole.  I remember walking several days with the soles of my shoes flapping praying others wouldn't hear.  They took me to the store that night.  You will laugh.  The first man I ever loved was a posh department store shoe department manager.  Mom said there were times when there was only $5 in the checking account.

Take care of your kids.  Because of rising costs, more exorbitant than Mother's time, and getting steadily worse, try working from your home.  Some corporations allow employees to work from home part-time or even full-time.  Check with your accountant on tax savings for a home office.  You could have an internet business, design clothing, come up with a clever craft item to sell on Ebay, or even stuff envelopes.  Involve the kids giving them valuable experience.  Do volunteer work, help another mother, and get involved with your local PTO.  Record all this on your Resume for later.  Don't forget that you juggled a budget for a family.  You will get a job.   

Another solution is get a permit and put the child to work.  There are only a few parts, but there is something called, "Stage Mother."  Put your cute child in show business.  This doesn't have to be a child.  Put your dog in show business.  You have heard of "Bengie."  They have to want to, as some are shy.  They can have internet businesses, sew, repair small appliances or work in fast foods.

Meanwhile the husband can do things in his spare time.  Dad had two jobs for many years.  He repaired cars and even large appliances that were not insured.  Other men have talents that can be shared with neighbors and friends such as, tax preparation, or accounting.  Dads are good to have.  These days we have cell phones.  The child can have his Mom's or his Dad's advice lickety-split.

The "old timer" in the office will make more money when a woman returns to her career.  The career woman may not have kids and will be alone later, while you enjoy help from your children and grandchildren at times when you are sick or in your old age.  If children are left alone while young, they will remember when you are in need.  You may be left ALONE.

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