The Reunion pt 2

What the hell! How dare she come in here and just throw this shit on me! What the hell am I supposed to do with this? She has the nerve to just come in here and expect me to just let her back in after she broke my heart into a thousand pieces. I wanna just tell her to go fuck herself and smack the shit outta her. Dear god why is this happening? All the times I prayed to you that she would say this and she never did, now you choose to send her back to me…now. I have a new life now, a new love. Damnit…how can I look at Linda again, knowing that my constant thoughts from this point will be of her.

“Say something beautiful.” Her voice had gotten soft, almost to a whisper. What does she want me to say? What do I want to say? Her face had lost all of its usual confidence and the bravado she always carried with her had seemed to disappear.

My mouth wouldn’t open. The words were stuck in the back of my throat. I felt like I was drowning, like my lungs were filling with water and I couldn’t breathe. I thought my heart would beat right out my chest. All the words that I couldn’t speak became tears, they fell down slowly at first then in steady streams. She pulled me to her and held me, held me like she did the first time we made love; in my small ass studio in college, on a little futon. We were so wild we fell off and made love in the floor off and on all night. I fell in love with her then, not because of super awesome, make a bitch cry sex. But because of the way her eyes danced in the dark. Because she made sure that I was her focus and everything stopped when we were together. Because all of her statements started with “us” or “we”, never “I”, Because she loved me in spite of me.

“I can never take the hurt back, I can never erase the dumb shit I did or give us our missed time back. I can never apologize enough to make shit okay. If you told me to shut up and get out right now I could never blame you. Natalie, I know you. I know how you work, and I know you still love me, I still love you. I’m not asking you to just give her up and jump right back into our old lives. I’m still living in Florida, and I can’t more right now. But I want the channels to stay open, and maybe we can get us back.” I just looked at her, was she serious?

“I don’t understand Toni..you want to have some kinda long distance dating thing? I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that. I don’t even know if I want to do that.” I could feel myself loosing it very quickly. “I fuckin begged you for months not to leave me here. I would have gone with you wearing only the clothes on my damn back. I would have followed your selfish ass to the ends of the earth. I abandoned all my goddamn pride trying to keep you. And then you walk your ass back in here almost two years later talking some bullshit about getting back together.” I was yelling now, and I didn’t care. “I am so tired of you arrogant ass, you think every damn thing is about you. You left cuz you wanted to, then you come back and try to reclaim your shit cuz you feel like it. Well guess what, it’s somebody elses shit now! “ I was screaming and crying and breathing hard as hell all the same damn time. My damn head was pounding and I just wanted her to shut the hell up so I could just think.

“I don’t know what to do Toni…I don’t know what the fuck to do.” I was out of energy all the pain that I thought I had buried came flowing out. Toni was crying too and I found myself hugging her and crying into her neck. Damn, just being held by her brought back so many memories and overwhelming emotions.

I was totally taken off guard when I felt my feet lift off the ground. “Damn..you’re so light now. “ She whispered in my ear as she lifted me. The soft depth of her voice made me shake. She grabbed me beneath my ass and carried me to the bedroom. I still have no idea how she knew right where it was…but I really didn’t care at this point.

“I need to feel you beautiful..I need to taste you, smell you, hear your breath quicken with the first plunge of my fingers inside your warmth. “Damnit I was cryin like a baby. I was so confused. Ecstatic to have her here with me, but scared and feeling guilty at the same time. “Please beautiful, can I have my baby back…please…I’m so sorry.” She was lying on top of me, her head buried in my neck crying just saying over an over again that she wanted me to forgive her and that she would never hurt me again.

She had begun to grind against me and I was moaning softly now. The intense throbbing between my legs was almost painful. I lifted her head from my neck where she was tracing small circles with her tongue. We locked eyes and spoke without words. My lips moved to hers and that kiss was like a dream. It was like my whole body exhaled in that kiss. More tears fell and were both sobbing and kissing each other.

I was so engrossed in just being in this moment I hadn’t realized she was unbuttoning my shirt. Her mouth against my breast caused my nipples to harden to the point that I thought they would pop off. Electric impulses went straight to my clit and I began to thrust upwards against her. Her grind became harder and I swear we were both getting ready to cum without even taking off our clothes. I began to unbutton her shirt to see the big beautiful breasts that I loved so much. She hated the size of her breasts and even sometimes bound them. I was one of the very few women she had ever allowed to fondle or kiss, them. We had even gotten to the point that I could suck on her nipples. For some strange reason I was always proud of that fact, it made me feel special. Like she trusted me enough to let me have reign over her body. Like she knew that I would never hurt her, and it was okay. It was okay…