The Word With the Bird

I have heard that you are friends with a turd. How have I heard that you were friends with a turd? I had a word with a bird who told me you were friends with a turd.You may think it's absurd to have a word with a bird. But when I conferred with the bird about your friend the turd, what he inferred was that YOU were the turd AND A NERD!! So I referred the bird to MY friend, who meowed and purred. The subsequent injuries that he incurred made his vision blurred and his speech slurred. Now when he speaks he is often misheard. This is the preferred state of said bird, cause now the bird has no word. And NO MORE will it be inferred, that you are a turd.