When All That's Left Is Pain

If it wasn’t for him, my life would be just a little bit easier.
If I hadn’t fallen in love with him, I would be able to do so much more.
Sometimes I think about him and I feel like killing him for all the pain that he’s made me go through. 

I hate the fact that my parents treat me like shit for everything that he’s done.
Just because I thought I was in love, they don’t even let me go to church anymore.
Makes me want to scream, cry, do anything but be in this house for another second longer.
IS THERE ANY WAY OUT???

Gosh, I hate them all sometimes.
I feel like screaming, doing anything but tolerating them.
Instead, I listen to music, write all my feelings down, and hold it in, waiting to explode any second.
Were they never teenagers???

It sucks to know that even in the pain, there’s nothing to look forward to.
At least if I was going to get punished, I should be able to look forward to something.
Instead, they judge me for the past, and they never let go or forget, and all I get is shit from both ways cuz he doesn’t even love me either.

I think that ever since I was born there plan was to find a way to ruin my life.
Either way I was a mistake since the beginning to start with, since they didn’t even want me.
If a person was going to treat their own blood like shit, they should have reconsidered before having the kid and just aborted it.

You’d think that they would get tired of ruining my life, but it doesn’t work that way either.
You’d think they would have thought enough was enough and they would have left me to die since they had already finished destroying my soul, but I guess they thought that it wasn’t enough, and that they had to finish it all.

They continue to ruin my life, they continue to torture me every second of my life.
I want to run, I want to go somewhere where I won’t be trash, but there’s no where to go.
I try to find out, I try to seek someone who will help me, but no one cares about what’s going to happen to my life since I’m a nobody anyways. 

I just want to die so bad, end the pain in my heart. 
I don’t understand why some people are so cruel, why they have no heart.
I had once thought that he would be there when I was lonely, that he would be there to hug me and hold back the tears, but all he did was make it worse with his words.

I don’t see what the point is in making someone cry so much that they feel their heart is going to break; do they think its fun to be lonely?
I want out, I’m dying for a friend, but I have no one to go to.
So what do i do? keep living and somehow try to get over it......