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Don't let your heart get in the way of your head. |
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It smelled like rubber gloves and sanitizer. The white to white walls were making her dizzy. Doctors were running around conversing in their "medical code" as she sat there alone. I mean, it is a free clinic, but, someone should be with her after all that had happened. It was two short months ago. Two months when she was a happy-go-lucky, carefree sixteen year old girl. Now here she was sitting in a clinic, alone, without her baby. Emptiness is what she felt right now. To be so full of joy and love and then have it ripped away so quickly is cruel. Numb. That is all she is now, empty and numb.Was she to blame for the start of this? Yes. Was she to blame for the result? That is the question of her life right now. Sitting alone in the clinic for what seemed like days, all she could do was replay the past months over and over again in her head. To re-live all the mistakes she had made. To wish so deeply she could have a reset button. That day. She kept going back to it no matter how hard she tried not too. If that one horrible day could be gone from existence, then she could go back to her life, the life she should have now. "Gina! Get down here you're going to be late for school!" It was seven thirty when Mrs.Masiello yelled up the stairs to her daughter's closed door. Her music was blasting and she was running late. " Give me a minute, I'm almost ready! Gosh!" She replied over the sound of her new CD. Everything had to be perfect today. The new beige mini with the blue blouse looked awesome with her light colored wedge shoes. She had her favorite necklace and earring set which was a nice extra boost. The only thing was her hair. After wrestling with it for twenty minutes she decided to leave it down. The curly brown would have to do. " Now Gina!" Her mother yelled once again up the stairs. Mrs.Masiello had no idea. Today was Gina's much anticipated lunch date with the oh-so-cute new guy. Everything had to be perfect for her date with Christopher. It was planned right down to the food she ate at lunch. She planned her meal so that it involved nothing runny, drippy, smelly or so stringy that would stick in her teeth. Gina was so obsessive-compulsive about this, but she didn't care. " I swear I will break down that door if I don't see you now!" Her mom called as Gina made her way downstairs. "I'm ready OK, chill" Gina gave the usual sigh to her mom. As she entered the kitchen, Gina went straight to the cupboard and grabbed one of those Special K cereal breakfast bars to go. "Honnie, you need a real meal," Came the answer from her mother. "Mom, I told you, I want to lose six pounds in two weeks like the box says" She was bent on losing a little weight from her mid-section if possible. She wasn't weight-crazy, she just wanted to be fit. "OK, I gotta go, I'll be home after volleyball training at four-ish, love you bye" Gina kissed her mom and went out the door. As Gina made her way down the driveway she say the familiar face of her neighboor coming towards her. "Hey Gina, hon!" She looked right and saw Hayley coming towards her. Hayley was Gina's closest and best friend ever. They talked about everything and at this moment Hayley was incredibly jealous of Gina's lunch plans. "Are you soooooo excited? I know I am and I'm not even going!" Hayley knew how cool it was to be going out with the "new hot guy". And not only that, he was a senior. A senior who asked out a sophmore. Out with an older man was the epitome of cool. "Its no big, Hay," Said Gina trying to shake it off even though she was exploding with little tiny butterfiles in her stomach. When Christopher walked over to her in the hallway yesterday she thought she might throw up. And when he asked her? Wow, what a feeling. " You HAVE to tell me ALL about it," Continued Hayley as she ranted on about the events of that day. " Oh trust me Hayley, I will." *** This had to be the longest morning ever. Lunch just wouldn't seem to come properly and on time. When the lunch bell finally rang, Gina grabbed her lunch, fixed her lip gloss and headed to the cafeteria. She walked in and saw him. Sitting at his little table looking like the best thing with two legs. Gina tried so hard not to trip, and to her surprise, kept her poise. "Hey, Gina, what's up?" Christopher nodded for her to sit across from him. She told herself it was so they could talk. "Oh, same old, you know? How about you?" She was sitting up straight and tried to make herself look older has he told her about his morning. This was too great to be real, she thought to herself. Half a sandwich and two sodas later, Christopher became quite. It didn't really seem like a pondering type quiet, but something else. Gina sat there, eating, and couldn't help notice that he was occasionally glancing sideways at her. Something that would normally have flattered her, made her squirm uncomfortably in her chair. She just couldn't quite seem to put her finger on it. After several long-winded minutes, Christopher spoke. "So, you got plans this afternoon?" He talked so smoothly. He had an ease about him that made her want to be near him forever. " I have training at three and my moms expecting me at four," She was a bit embarressed to bring up her mother at the table. " What do you say you skip training and hang with me this afternoon, I can have you home by four for sure," He replied. That could work,she thought. I mean skipping training was bad, but how much could it hurt? One day is all. One afternoon. Once is all it was. "Ok, yeah, why not," She felt alive, defiying the rules like this. The bell rang to say lunch was over, and as they got up he said, " I'll meet you out front at three and then we can... hang," There was that look, that glance again. What was he thinking? Anticipating? She shook it off, it didn't matter. All that mattered was she had a real date this afternoon. One date. Once is all it takes. *** ( Be sure to check out the final 3 chapters) |
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