Farckle, Snaffle, and...

         Once in a world not unlike our own, there was a man. His name was Nathan Jones. Nathan was a fairly normal man. He had brown hair and a lean frame. He was slightly muscular and was about to turn twenty-two. In fact his birthday was two days away. In Nathan's point of view this was not a very exciting event. He had had birthdays and they were always the same old thing. He would end up sitting in his house watching television or reading a book. He would end up terribly bored and eating cake. He didn't mind the cake part, though.

         A few miles away a spaceship landed in a field unnoticed. A strange woman stepped out and took a look around. She was of average height and had blonde hair and horn-rimmed glasses. She was wearing a pinstriped suit and high heels. This woman's name happened to be Peganlaextranzea, "Peggy" for short. She had come to this world on a mission. Her mission was to find the best possible place for an Intergalactic Conference. This conference was to be held on the 529th day of October. (Don't ask me how this could be so because it doesn't make much sense to me either). Peggy decided that she had better get to work, but first she wanted to find a place to stay while she was here. So she set off.

         Nathan was lying on his bed thinking. He wasn't thinking about anything in particular. Mostly about where he was going to go to buy some fish. This might seem a bit odd to you but this made perfect sense to him. Nathan was in charge of getting fish for his company's annual fish fry. The fish fry was an opportunity to get in good with the boss. He loved fish and he also loved to play badminton. Both of these were in abundance at the fry. So Nathan got up, got dressed, and went to the market.

         Peggy was successful at finding room and board at a local Holiday Inn. (These things were all over the galaxy!) She decided to roam around the town to see if it would be a suitable place for the conference. She was walking along minding her own business when suddenly the rudest person just bumped into her. She was about to yell at him when she saw that he had a fish in his hand. On her home planet this was a sign of friendship. She held out her hand to accept it.Nathan was bewildered. He did not know what was going on. He had been walking with his head in the clouds and he had accidentally run into some woman. This woman was now holding out her hand expectantly. He considered shaking it but that's not what she seemed to want. She was eyeing his fish peculiarly. He didn't know what to do.

         Peggy had decided that this man was extremely dim. She had been standing here for at least five minutes and he still had not given her the fish. How long would it take?

         "Um…Hello there," said Nathan. He was feeling rather foolish standing in the street like this. People were beginning to stare! "Can I help you?"

         " Yes, I'm waiting for your fish," said Peggy. "I believe you offered it to me."

         "I certainly did not!" exclaimed Nathan. "I need this–it's very important. Since when is bumping into someone offering them a fish? What planet are you from?"

         Now Peggy was outraged! On her home planet, taking back an offering (especially a friendship offering) has serious consequences. Peggy was momentarily speechless. She finally stuttered, "Ah…actually, I'm from the planet Farckle and if we were there, you would be chased by giant tarantulas and then thrown into a pit of hot sauce!" (As you can tell, this was a serious offence. Fortunately for Nathan, this was not Peggy's home planet.)

         "All for not giving you my fish?" Nathan asked, confused.

         "Yes," replied Peggy.

         "Oh, well now that makes perfect sense!" he said sarcastically.

         "Well of course it does," she answered.

         "And your name is?" asked Nathan.

         "Paganlaextranzea."

         "Peg..an..la..what?

         "Peggy" for short."

         "Well Peggy, I'm sorry that you thought I offered this to you, but I really need it."

         Nathan then went on to explain all about the fish fry and Peggy went on to explain about her mission, and then asked Nathan if he wanted to help. He was rather astonished and it took some time to convince him, but in the end he agreed to help. Peggy took him to see her spaceship.

         "Here we are," chirped Peggy cheerfully, as they walked up to the ship. The ship looked like nothing. That is to say, it blended in so well with its surroundings, you couldn't really tell where it started and where it ended. This was why Nathan bumped into it.

         "Ow!" he exclaimed. "I think I found your ship, Peggy."

         "Oh, I'm so sorry, Nathan. I forgot to tell you about its camouflage mode!" exclaimed Peggy.

         "That's all right, but can you turn it off, so I don't run into it again?" he asked.
She did, and then she went up to the door and stuck her tongue out.

         "What the heck are you doing?" Nathan asked.

         "I'm trying to get into my ship. This is an automated tongue print door. Every person has his or her own unique tongue print, so only I can get in this ship," she explained.

         "That's kind of cool, I guess. It beats using your thumb or something," he said.

         They walked onto the ship and were greeted by the buzzing, blinking, and just random noise created by the spaceship.

         "Wow, this is amazing!" Nathan exclaimed.

         The ship had a sterile feel about it. The interior was white and clean. There were soft chairs and lots of windows. The kitchen had state-of-the-art appliances. There was a machine that could make you anything you wanted to eat or drink on command. The ship had another floor that was devoted solely to recreational activities. (Space voyages can become very dull, you know.) There was every game imaginable and some you could not. You could also switch the artificial gravity to "off" and float around. It was all very high-tech to Nathan.

         Peggy went over to some controls and fiddled with them. The date and time popped up and it said 12:00 on the 528th day of October. This made no sense to Nathan, but he went along with it.

         "Are you ready to go?" asked Peggy.

         "Go? Go where?" asked Nathan.

         "Go out and look for a place to hold the conference," she said.

         "Right now? But I don't have any of my stuff! I need my clothes and …"

         "You don't need anything," interrupted Peggy. "Haven't you noticed that this is a spaceship? It can provide us with everything we need."

         "Are you sure?" said Nathan. "And besides, I need to go to work. They'll fire me if I miss another day."

         "Don't worry so much. We'll use the time warp setting so you won't miss a thing," she replied.

         Peggy told him to sit down and buckle up. Then she turned to the controls and fired up the engine. She looked at the radar to make sure no one was watching and took off. The ship rose into the air and burst out of the atmosphere. Moments later, Peggy and Nathan landed on a little known planet called "Snaffle." This was an odd place because all the people glowed bright pink during the day and everyone one of them was bald.

         "This is kind of weird," said Nathan.

         He and Peggy disembarked and took a look around. What Nathan saw astonished him. Everything looked exactly the same as his planet except for one thing. Everything looked like it was made of glass. You could see through buildings, cars, even trees! It was very strange. Nathan did not think that he would like to live here. There was hardly any privacy. The landscape was also pretty dull.

         "So does this look like a good place?" He asked. "Peggy? Where are you?"
Nathan looked around. Peggy was nowhere to be seen! Oh great, I just got here and I'm already lost, he thought to himself. Well I guess I better go explore and try to find her or I will never get home. Nathan walked down the street so he could try to find someone who might be able to help him. He came up to a man. At least he thought it was a man.

         "Hello there," he said, "Have you by chance seen a woman with blonde hair? She's about this tall."

         The man looked him up and down. Then he finally said "tahw, I t'nac dnatsrednu uoy!"

         "Nathan!" said a voice.

         "Who is that? It sounds like Peggy!" he said.

         "It is. I'm wearing an invisible suit. We look too different from these people, so it's better to explore while we're invisible. By the way, no one can understand you because they all speak backwards."

         "Oh that explains it," said Nathan.

         Nathan went to go get an invisible suit then he and Peggy went to look around. Almost immediately Peggy decided this was not the right place for the conference because first of all the scenery was very dull and secondly there was not enough privacy because everything was clear. She turned around and started walking back to the ship.

         "Nathan, we're leaving. Come on," she said.

         "What? Why, we just got here," he asked.

         "We're done. I've seen enough," she answered.

         "Okay, so where are we going now?"

         "To the next closest planet."

         They boarded the ship and took off once again.

         "So when you take me home do you want to come to the fish fry that is held by my work? There will be lots of fish and badminton," Nathan said trying to make conversation.

         "What? Did you say badminton?" Peggy asked.

         "Yeah, you know the sport where you have to hit the…"

         "I know what badminton is," she interrupted, "On my home planet, Farckle, it is the national sport. We play it all the time. Why didn't you tell me this before?"
         "Well, you didn't ask," he said.

         "We wouldn't have had to travel around to find a place for the conference if I had known that," she said.

         They flew back to Nathan's home and went to the grounds where the fish fry was being held. Peggy set up an area off to the side where the conference members could meet. She then contacted all of them and gave them the coordinates.

         The next day people from all over the galaxy converged at the fish fry. They ate the best fish they ever had and held a badminton tournament.

         "What is this conference about anyways? You never told me," asked Nathan.

         "It's about B.I.R.D.I.E., which stands for the Badminton Intergalactic Rally Done Inconveniently Elsewhere. I must thank you Nathan, for helping me. I've had a great time. Good-bye for now. See you next year!" she said. Peggy turned on her heel, waved, and walked off.

         That night when Nathan got home there was a package with a note attached to it sitting on his coffee table. I wonder who that's from he thought. He tore open the card. It said: "Dear Nathan, Due to all the festivities today I think you forgot something very important. I hope all your wishes come true. Love, Peggy"
Nathan opened the box. He was not expecting what he saw next. Inside was a fish decorated with colorful icing. On it were the words," Happy Birthday Nathan!" This had been the best birthday he had ever had.