This above all, to thine own self be true.... My best friend has taught me loads of wonderful things... but this one is the best of everything rolled into one big BLAH! I have watched others and observed their choices and reasoning. I have made enormously bad decisions and will live my life with regret no matter how much I dont want to. Many people are so cavalier in their willingness to abandon their own conscience to be a part of a group conscience. They are oh so happy to do whatever their social group, religion, parents, friends, political party or whoever thinks is the "right thing" to do. This completely extinguishes their spark of individuality! Only to be accepted as part of something larger. I have decided that, I don't want to be a part of something larger. I've made a decision. I owe this to my best friend Adil. He's da bomb! I love him soo much!! And I never thought I'd be writing something like this now, as I had sorta figured I'd gone way past this point in my life. Already been here... already accomplished this... but.. when I look deep into myself.... I see that I am not living my life for me. And that is changing. It has been a gradual process for the past few months I suppose, but I dont think I really understood what it was that I needed to change. Now I am positive that I do. I may not be able to get it to form into the correct words for any blog readers out there... but this is my sounding grounds and I'll just leave it at, I now know what I need to do. My sense of justice has dictation over my happiness. Justice tells me that I must be true to my conscience, never disregarding it for any reason. To be happy, I have to be me. Period! If that makes me unacceptable to a religion, political party, social group, parents, friends, acquaintances, peers, I couldn't care less. I'll die happy knowing that I didn't violate my conscience. And I'll die happy being me. |