Wish

How I Wish
Oh how I wish
That I could be in that moment
FOREVER
But no
Oh but no
That moment ended 2 days ago
Now I said it
Now why’d I say it?
Always wonderin’ why
Always messin’ it up
Why is it?
Why must I?
No it’s not intentional
But inevitable
A natural function
Of me
Yet yes
Oh yet yes
I did mean it
When I said “I love you”
I’d never lie
Not to you
For you were the one
I wanted
I needed
Yet now it’s nothing
Nil
Yet I would give
ANYTHING
Oh yes anything
Just to be back
In that moment
Its all I can think about
Only you
Wonderful you
Beautiful you
Fabulous you
Why did I do it?
Why did I have to?
Well, I wish I knew
For if I knew
I could stop it
Cease it
But I can’t
For I don’t know
The problem
Please oh please
Help me find the problem
Then we can search for
The SOLUTION
Just sitting here
All alone
Wondering if in a year or so
Ill be sitting right here again
But instead of a pencil
In my hand it’ll be a knife
A knife to cut my
PAINS
A knife to cut my
SADNESS
A knife to cut my
PROBLEMS
Cut through my problems
And fix it
All of this
Right now I don’t know
What to do
All I can think of is
What I wanted us to
BECOME
Yet knowing what we are
And now
Laying here
I am longing to be with
YOU
That night
That crazy night
THAT is my wish

(No, I’m not a cutter, never was, never will be. The knife is hypothetical and metaphorical)