Is This Real?

         

Is this real?
This pain I feel
Will it ever go away?
Will I ever heal?

This hurt inside
That I’ve felt for so long,
How much longer
will I stay strong?

These painful thoughts
haunt me at nite,
the tears trickle down
as I try to fight.



These thoughts that hurt so deep
for so much of my life,
the outside is normal
while inside is much strife

A feeling of abandonment
alone again I cry
To these emotions I’m so vulnerable
no matter how hard I try

No one can understand
the animosity I have inside,
because its not about them
its from myself I hide

I stare at my reflection
as it stares back at me,
a feeling of affliction
the sadness is all I see.

Resentful toward myself
for being who I am,
I wonder why I’m like this
why can’t I be like them

This feeling overwhelms me
I can’t take it anymore,
I feel trapped inside myself
locked behind this door

Surpressed inside are so many feelings
I don’t kno how to let out.
Because the very thing that hurts
is what causes me to doubt.

It makes me afraid to just let go
and say what I feel inside,
That’s why in my lonesome I mourn
in someone else I cannot confide

I want this anguish to go away
as I sit here frail and weak,
hoping somehow someone will see my suffering
with out me having to speak

Grief and sorrow overpower me
I feel like I’ll never win,
I want to cry out for help
but where do I begin?

How do I break free
from whats held me captive for so long?
I Just want to be loosed of this suffering
and somehow erase all I’ve done wrong.

Erase the memories of the past
that no one knows wounded so deep,
Words that were said
that I wish I didn’t keep.

I’m a victim of my own mind
I’ve created the havoc that’s within
If I were to say how I feel
this is how I’d begin

Is this real this?
This pain I feel
Will it ever go away?
Will I ever heal?

This is the heart of many
who don’t kno what to say
I’m just another face in the crowd
another soul that is so fray