The Little Voice

You can do it...

"But I don't want to. It's going to hurt so many people in the end. How can I do something like that?" She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror, watching reflection. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, nothing at all. So why was she talking to herself?

You're not going to hurt anyone. In fact, you're going to make their lives so much easier.

"Easier? How is that going to make their lives easier?" She grabbed a corner of the sink and closed her eyes. Maybe, if i think that it's not there, it'll go away.

Guess again, sweetie. I'm here and I'm real. What's keeping you from doing it? You know you want to, you've talked about it before. What's stopping you now? The voice echoed inside of her head, making her eyes clinch tighter.

"You're asking me to do something that is immoral, unjustified. I can't just kill myself. I won't do it." She opened her eyes and looked back at her reflection. Her head was beginning to hurt like it did every other time she talked to her voice. "My parents will be heartbroken. I won't put them through that kind of torture." She opened her medicine cabinet and pulled a bottle of prescription meds down, popping the top off.

Do you honestly think that your parents care anything about you? They would've been there the day you cut your wrists if they did. But no, they weren't. Instead of being there, they sent you away - away to see a doctor who knows nothing about you, nothing about me, and just gives you medicine to keep you doped up. They think that if they keep you doped up, you won't talk to yourself. You won't be able to think about horrible things, like cutting your wrists. But look at you. You're pathetic. You're still holding on to the idea that your parents love you and care for you.

I know the truth. I can see it. They look at you like you're a monster. Some kind of twisted up-

"STOP! Stop telling me lies. Just shut up. My parents do care. You don't know anything. You're just a stupid voice in the back of my head that I made up. Just shut the hell up. SHUT UP!" Shaking, she dumped out three little blue pills and quickly swallowed them. The voice started laughing.

You can't keep lying to yourself. You're hiding behind your medicine. Do you not notice how I don't disappear when you take it? They've made you into a zombie. Nothing more, nothing less. You'll be free of all of that. You can be rid of all of the heartaches you've ever had. You just have to take one simple step. A step towards darkness...

"By killing myself I can get away from everything? Of course I can. I'll be DEAD. Nothing can bother me if I'm dead. You're a liar. I made you and I can end you." The girl walked into her bedroom and laid down on her bed. "What do you get out of me killing myself? Huh? What do you get out of the deal?" The voice snickered.

You made me? Are you serious? I made you! I made you into what you are! You wouldn't even be able to pick you damn head up off that pillow if it weren't for me. I made you and I own you. You'll never be free of me. Never.

The girl shut her eyes and pictured herself in the depth of own head, in the darkness, stumbling over crevices, trying to get to the voice.

"You can't own anything. You're nothing more than a voice."

Then why are trying to find me?

The girl opened her eyes, but all she could see was darkness.

"What the-? What happened?"

You wanted me? You wanted to fight me? How can you fight something that you can't see? The voice reverbarated all around her. With dread growing in her stomach, the girl realized that she had somehow been pulled inide her own head.

"Stop doing this to me. Just stop. I can't take it anymore." The girl stepped forward but was immediately shoved back by an invisible force.

I want you dead. I want to have your body so that I can finally be a person. You've wasted this vessel, this gift. You tried to get rid of it. What a waste. But if I inhabit it, I would make good use out of it. I would do what needed to be done.

"What needs to be done?"

Take back the life that you tossed into the trash. Rebuild the life that you're letting go down the drain. And I'm also going to get those so-called parents out of the way.

"I won't let you do that. I won't. I'll fight you to the end!"

Go ahead. Try. I'll come out on top. I always do.

*****

The girl's mother was walking outside the girl's room when she heard her daughter whimpering. Easing her bedroom door open, the mother saw her daughter's body comvulsing on the bed, like she was trying to fight someone off of her. Frantic, the mother ran to the girl and grabbed her.

"JOHN!" Get up here! NOW!"

Trying to calm her daughter down, she watched as the girls eyes moved frantically behind closed eyes. "Oh my God. Please don't let anything happen to her."

All of a sudden, the girl went limp in her mother's hands and the mother looked at her. Opening her eyes slowly, the girl gave her mom a weak smile.

"Are you alright, honey? You had me frightened." She hugged the girl in a tight embrace as John came running in.

"What? What's wrong?" Both mother and daughter looked at him and the mother smiled. The daughter just stared at him in an awkard manner.

"She was having a seizure. Nothing serious. Must be a side effect to her medicine. I'll call Dr. Brown in the morning." The girl sat up and stretched her arms.

John looked at her and something deep inside of him thought that she didn't look normal. Something was off about her.

She's not the same little girl you raised, John. She's different. Always will be. John shook his head, clearing the thought out. As he walked out of the room, he could've sworn that he heard laughing in his head.