Do or Die

I knock, much as my heart knocks against my chest,
At your door
Knowing full well my fate will be sealed
Forevermore

I must do this, my mind repeats
repeats
  repeats
      repeats
My heart calms not at prospect of prison
But you will save my life
If I drink again, I will die

Petty was right
"The waiting is the hardest part"
Tranquility on the other side of your door
Induces movies looping of times past and pains amassed
You said "Forever"--was that a lie?
Did you mean "Forever" in conjunction with "Goodbye?"
Did you get off on making me cry?
Or was it only because I told you I got high?

Why?

Get a grip, man--you're sober now
You know full well it was your fault!
These old thinking patterns do no good for you

Just because you didn't take your vow
With her doesn't mean you have to turn to malt
Liquor, marijuana, crack--Over toilet spew

See those trees? And the bird tweeting within?
Isn't that nicer than making your blood thin
And riding down I-65, knowing full well
That you're breaking the law and will soon be in hell
Behind bars, higher than Mars,
my lungs hacking up various tars

It's not fun, man...It's not--

"Hello?" She says in a sweet, seductive, soothing Siren Song
C'mon, man--Keep your grip! Don't lose it--It's been too long!
It's not worth going back behind those bars
Just to show her who's the baddest of the drink and drug stars

"I--I believe you remember me...I'm (deleted)...And I've committed many a wrong unto you. I sucked you into my life, made you care for me, did horrible things behind your back, and other such atrocities. When you said you had enough, I exploded. I hit the spot, got the rock, loaded the stock--what a crock. It was all your fault, or so I thought. Well, it's been almost a year since my last drink or drug, and I need to complete Step Nine. I know you said you'd call the police if I ever made contact with you again, but I care not...I need to do this, for if I don't it could spell disaster for my sobriety--and I CAN'T lose that...I'd rather be in jail than in that prison of self-pity, self-resentment, unjustified resentment of others...not to mention the ill effects drinking a half gallon of cheap vodka every day has on one's liver and brain...My point is, send me to jail if you want, but I'm not risking losing my sobriety. I am sorry for what happened and will do whatever it takes to make it right. WHATEVER it takes."

"Hmm...C'mon in. I'll make some coffee."

See? Now was that so bad?

Wait...what's that I hear off in the distance...OHHH NOOO....