Singing Ghost of Desperation

Cry of Depression
Wednesday, February 28

No one is going to attempt to say something, or try and talk some sense into me, no, useless, such a feigned existence. I breathe this thing they call air, and all I can come up with is chlorinated water, blurring my vision and draining into my lungs. A fatal excursion from the surface that is determined to keep me under.

All I have left is my defenses and I lowered them, tempting you to help me, tempting you to tell me that what I was saying was useless and I just needed to get everything in order. But apparently my surface is clouded, and ripples of distrust and madness are blurring the surface of what we see.

I need you now, just like I always have, and I can't get any closer to telling you than by saying it outright. I wanted you to be the one to look after me and make sure that I wasn't going to go off the edge, the unspeakable edge that both of us have thought about too many times to count. You've tried, I've tried, my attempts were futile and worthless, your attempts mystify and lead me away from you.

I'm not sure what this means anymore, all I can manage to do is hold my breath and bide my time, hoping I won't run out of air before you come around and we both realize it's useless, so useless to go on fighting, why can't I just give up and let you're words make sense like they should have all along, but no, it's too late, there's no point in beating the corpse anymore. It's dead! It's dead! No use, not one single use left for me anymore.

-I'm Singing in your basement, pleading for my life, please hear my plea, please.

Cry of Outrage
Saturday, March 3

The chlorinated water has returned with malicious intentions. You were an unstable structure that promptly threw me back in. All I've done is try and fail, constantly try and fail and I'm not sure what this means. I threw my life into upheavel and I singled you out to catch me.

But of course, as always, it was my mistake. It was too soon, all we did was yell and scream and the neighbors were concerned and you sent them all away. You sent all my means of a safe escape away, while you yelled at me and your stability yielded nothing.

Everything was in vain and I did not know what to make of it. I quickly left, with nothing in hand, all that was left was your yelling, also in vain, I could not hear you anymore.

I was always pleading with you for one thing or another and nothing had the effect I had so desperately needed. I never wanted to see us like this, or you for that matter. I love you, but I can not listen to your ugly words anymore.

Please, just stop.

I want to live again.

But I'm just a ghost.

In the world you live.

Cry of Loneliness
Wednesday, March 7

How long has it been, since we were last happy? How long has it been since, we were both alive. Now I am dead, and you are alive. I am insane, and you are just crazy.

The tower is toppling, wavering, and teetering. I am nervous and anxious and eager all at the same time. I am a cynic, I wanted it to fall! Fall! Fall! I chanted it to the rooftops and it teetered dangerously, I laughed with glee.

If it falls, then maybe you will be dead like me. I want you with me, always have, I've missed you darling. I've set so many traps for you and little tricks to see if you wanted to come to me.

We could sing together.

In your basement,

to your parents,

giving them nightmares,

of us being dead and happy.



Oh what a feeling that would be.

Please, that apple, don't wash it.

I've laced and coated it with poison, a blissful poison that will bring you to me..

Cry of Grief
Monday, March 12


After I heard your voice again, I was not sure how to respond.

I screamed, I called for you, "Don't leave me alone!"

I shook my head and realised, the world is so brash in the ways it lets me remember you but you don't seem to remember me.

I shiver, I shudder, I convulse, desperately. There is something inside of me that is keeping me from something I need to get rid of desperately.

Maybe it is you, you withstood the poison, the apple, it was not your downfall. Why, why did you not join me in death?

Something about all of this is tearing me up inside, I am suddenly guilty for wanting you all to myself.

I've failed, everything.

I've failed, everyone.

What do you mean I didn't fail you?

You and me were one, by dying I failed myself, and by failing myself I have completely and utterly failed you.



The only one that mattered.

Cry of Insanity
Friday, March 16

Jumbled, jumbled. The puzzles pieces of my brain are jumbled, rumbled, completely unrecognisable. Scattered, such a disarray. That's my life I whisper and say to you. I finally found another ghost, and he can hear thee words I say to you.

"Such vanity you've kept in your death."

Don't judge me, he was my life, my soul, my everything. He kept the pieces together, not jumbled when he was there. I tell you he was the glue, the non-toxic adhesive! Believe me! Believe me!

"Please, it does not show, not in the least."

I have become unglued, isn't that enough proof for you? I am not okay! I need him! He needs me! Stop my madness! Bring him here, fetch him for me! Kill him properly like I have failed to do! I scream. I scream so loud. You do not hear me. You never hear me. You never hear my pleas, my cajoling, I love you! Damnit, I love you!

"Like I would kill him to meet you, obviously you are deranged."

I sobbed, it was the only thing left to do at this point. My life was changing and all I had to show for it was that I still desperately needed you.

It doesn't matter that I left you.

It doesn't matter that I abandoned you.

What hurts most is you still won't die for me.