..Asphyxiate..

..Asphyxiate


Regrets and hopes
captured by my own subconscious
the everlasting function that will not obey
the last breath, which I cannot hold back
a struggle between my heart and mind
the lost one, is I.


Control and fear
demanded from the defeated
my inferiority complex
the perennial suffering
caused by a past
which I cannot control
a past which I fear
never actually became past tense.


Lost and neglected
diseased and contagious
- said among the crowds
They found pleasure in torturing
a poor fragile object
Filled with love and hope
a mind of an innocent child
The crying and screaming
- can still be heard.


As the night falls
as I am completely alone
dark thoughts take over
and I cry myself to sleep.
Silently hoping for rescue
a rescue from myself
and what they have turned my into.
As I drift into a nightmare
on this lonely night
I wish to be gone forever.


Pain planted its roots
and the skies blackened
the sun turned away
I was alone then
And I still am
Do they regret a thing,
Am I ever on their minds?
Egotism has overshadowed
their lack of compassion
I was just one among others.


Cruel decadence
only innocence can save the world
I was robbed of my freedom
and set into a frightening world
where my reflection was blemished
and my mirror disillusioned
They had turned me against myself
an unending fight began.


I am not eligible for love
Never was and never will be
I am nothing
A poor misguided fool
guided in the fun of others
so how can I ever trust
ever persuade in life
when my strength have gone elsewhere
to feed someones need of control.


It is just an ordinary story
a lonely sad soul
who does not seem to find peace
not feeling the thrill of life
simply tired of searching
- for approval
- for love and understanding
so, - you - just asphyxiate me
spare me for these dark thoughts
contemplating in my mind.


Thoughtless march 2007.