Deadbeat Dad

Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to The Deadbeat Dad Show, my name is Bill Payer and our first guest this evening is Colin, how are you today Colin?
Colin: Knackered, had to get up early to come here.
Bill: Never mind, this show gives you the opportunity to put your feelings across on how being described as a Deadbeat Dad affects you.
Colin: Doesn't affect me at all actually.
Bill: Why is that?
Colin: I'm too wrapped up in myself to notice anyone else.
Bill: Do you notice your children, you know the ones you abandoned all those years ago?
Colin: I didn't abandon them I know where they are. At least I think I do..
Bill: Why did your ex partner kick you out?
Colin: Not sure, I did say I was going to get a job. Just haven't found one I like yet.
Bill: Are you working now?
Colin: No, I am on Disability Benefit due to the stress of life.
Bill: Can you explain further?
Colin: My ex girlfriend upset me, asking for maintenance all the time ,I got headaches over it.
Bill: So for seven years you had a headache?
Colin: Yeah, I have suffered a lot more than she has.
Bill: But your ex partner has two children to bring up alone, do you think her life is easier than yours?.
Colin: Definitely. She's not suffering migraines is she?
Bill: I mean't the children, they are a lot of responsibility.
Colin: I know, I sent her a tenner to help out.
Bill: That isn't much is it?
Colin: She hasn't spent it already?, Blimey ! I thought she would make it last.
Bill: Tell me why you haven't bothered to get in touch with her and find out how your children are?
Colin: Was hard, after a few years I forgot what they looked like so didn't bother. Water under the bridge.
Bill: Do you think that statement is unfair?
Colin: No, life goes on dont it?
Bill: When you began to receive letters from The Child Support Agency, what did you do?
Colin: Binned them at first, then i noticed a damp patch in the bathroom they covered them up a treat.
Bill: What would you say to your ex girlfriend now if you met her?
Colin: She aint here is she?
Bill: No she isn't. But if she was do you think she deserves an apology?
Colin: What for? I aint done nothing wrong, My headaches are serious, most of the day I have to lie in a darkened room to get over it.
Bill: So it wasn't you in that nightclub last night then?
Colin: No.
Bill: Are you sure? We have some video footage to show you.
Colin: Oh that club, yeah popped in to use the loo.
Bill. And you were dancing on tables singing Money! Money! Money! were'nt you? Colin: What's the big deal, I'm entititled to have fun you know!
Bill: What about your headaches?
Colin; Funny you should mention that, got a migraine coming on now.
Bill. I see, well Colin since you abandoned your children all those years ago what are you up to now?
Colin; I did try to work, for a month. But had to leave.
Bill: Why?
Colin: The CSA said they would take my money, thought it a cheek so I left. Not paying a penny to my ex girlfriend she's money mad.
Bill: The money is mean't for your kids.
Colin: They manage. Fresh air is free.
Bill: Your now living in a luxury flat and have a car given to you by the government is that correct?
Colin: I'm entititled to it all, it's my right.
Bill: And do you have any more children?
Colin: Two more but they don't live with me.
Bill I think I know the answer but tell me why?
Colin: Wish I could mate strange how life goes isn't it?,
Bill: Well thanks for your comments today Colin, we all know why you are a deadbeat dad.
Colin: My pleasure.