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Rated: 18+ · Other · Comedy · #1229609
Insightful Comedic Poetry from the Criminally Insane Mind of Stand Up Comic Crazy J
<b>The Nature of Words</b> <p>





Spoken word

spit to be heard,

yet what do they truly mean?<p>




A Politician is a wordsmith in that

his words, while having no meaning at all,

may be assigned any meaning

for which he, the politician, may have ambition.<p>




Like when he says -

"I did not make love to that woman!"

All the while withdrawing his semi-flaccid, cum soaked penis from her ass.

But upon close scrutiny - no lies were told

Because no <i><b>love</i></b> was made,

Simply a trade,

bodily fluids in exchange for shit stains.<p>




But that's okay.

Hillery'll do the wash

Her ass be washing-tons

because her hubby

he be constantly linkin'.<p>




Yes, he's no honest Abe, to be sure.

But that's okay

Is anyone truly anyway

(Not in that camp - Davey)<p>




So, are we then cursed to be associated

with the lowest of the low?

I submit to you - NO!

Because I say - it is they - who are blessed

to be associated with us.<p>


But back to the topic at hand:

What are words,

but a means of transport

of pictures from my mind

to yours.<p>




But it can't possibly be that easy you see

Because, ya'know, not everyone draws equally.<p>





I, for instance, enjoy painting my verbal pictures

in such a way that one might believe them to be

simply a glass or a chalice,

however, upon closer scrutiny

another may say

"No, you're missing the point entirely.

That's not it at all you see.

It's a couple preparing to kiss."

Then along comes, yet, a third party,

who observes that both faces are female

or at least - they - <i><b>seem</i></b> to be.<p>




It is at this point in my picture

that I enjoy the immeasurable pleasure

of drawing a huge cock between the two faces.

The centralized fallis

may make for an odd looking chalice,

but I, being, at heart, an optimist,

prefer to envision the glass

as eventually being half full.<p>




Words are what connects us

& what drives us apart.

Without them we have - a failure to communicate.

At times we fail with words,

simply by choosing unwisely.<p>




If I stub my toe - & vainly shout out <i><b>"GLORY HALLELULA!!!"</i></b>

Does that phrase not then become a curse?

& if - I call y'all a "sorry bunch of bastards",

with a smile on my face & love in my heart

am I not simply calling you friend & nothing worse? <p>






Words heard - are not always words intended.

Excuse me, I miss spoke.

I used to like to poke (back when I was getting some)

I miss it, now. <p>




Or - Excuse me, I miss spoke,

which makes my Asian bicycle

Ride kinda' funny.<p>




Or - Excuse me, I miss poke,

because I'm jus' damn tired

of eatin' beef, & fish, & chicken!

In hindsight perhaps Muslim

isn't truly the world's greatest religion.<p>




Or - Excuse me, I Miss Poke.

Me - no speaky Engrish berry wwell.

Dis-e my, uh - ?Huband?, uh - Mr. Poke --

No, no - I Mr. Poke -- Dis my wife

Excuse me, I miss spoke.<p>




Words are what birthed our nation,

given to much contemplation,

can be the cause of both pain & elation.<p>




Words are the story told,

the passage of wisdom

to the youth from the old.

Fortunes won & lost are not measured in gold,

but in words.<p>




Words like -

In God we trust (All others pay cash).


Words like -

Sign on the dotted line - right here.

No need to worry - there's no interest until next year.

Yet, although, no interest is offered,

I offer, in return, no interest here.

Because you'll give no credit here I fear

<i><b> (Not the good kind anyway).</i></b>

You see - all the credit I never earned

I burned back in the day.

But you can take my word,

because my words will some day pay.<p>




But I do have to state - I'm somewhat tired with the wait,

tired of being scared, scared to say what I truly feel,

to feel what I truly mean.

I'm just getting to old - to be dancing around these same old issues.

Can't we just get right down to the point - <b>FINNALLY</b>!

I'm tired of minding my words!

From now on

my words - had better best mind me!<p>




You see, I'm not just - mildly insane,

slightly deranged, a little bit strange -- kinda' crazy<p>




I put that shit in the front of my name!

My claim to fame! Right there - for the whole world to see!

I said it, I meant it, & I'll own it! I ain't fooling around!

I'm committed (Or damn well should be).

I'm working it - aint fixin' ta' phone that shit in.

I'm balls to the wall - <b><u><i>Damn-CRAY-Fucking--Z!!! </b></u></i><p>




I'll put all my shit on front street -<i><b> I - DO NOT - GIVE A FUCK !!!</i></b>

(Besides, Front Street is nowhere near my neighborhood.)<p>




Words are money ya' know?

At least mine are - fo show!!

Not only are my words money,

but my fuckin' shit be funny!

(& I'm not just talking looks here).<p>




Looks can deceive.

Words will make you believe.<p>




You see I had a dream,

& articulated that dream into words,

words which are etched into my heart,

& onto which I cleave,

words which I absolutely refuse not to believe!

& with those words

I will achieve

& make all my dreams reality!

I will - live - the dream!<p>




& you have my word

on that fact my friend!<p>




<b>I give you - my word! <p></b>

© Copyright 2007 Crazy J (crazyj at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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