Admissions

Admissions

“Someone call 911” Logan knelt beside his friend’s body, tears stinging his eyes and fear making his heart pound. “Sorcha, can you hear me? Please answer me,” he begged cradling her face in his hands. Her eyes were open, but death was creeping in fast, darkening the brilliant green irises. In the background, Logan could hear Jenny’s frantic call.

“W-we need help! It’s m-my sister! She slit her wrists!”

Logan pressed towels to her wounds, trying desperately to stem the flow of blood. His mind, reeling from the sight of her sprawled out on the bathroom floor, tried to make sense of her actions, but it couldn’t. He just didn’t understand.

~*~

An aching in her wrists greeted Sorcha as she awoke from her dreamless slumber. Her skull felt as if it were ready to split open from the pounding headache. She could feel stiff sheets covering her and a hard bed beneath her. The sound of a scratchy voice over a P.A. system told her she was in the hospital. Great. She had screwed up her suicide attempt. Couldn’t she do anything right? Her mom was right, she was worthless.

A rustling sound drew Sorcha’s attention, pulling her from her thoughts. Logan was curled up in an uncomfortable looking chair, fast asleep. His dark hair was sticking up in all directions and his clothes were wrinkled. Then she noticed his eyes. They were red and puffy. He’d been crying. Suddenly, Sorcha’s eyes were hot and stinging. She knew she was the source of his tears.

Logan sighed and rubbed at his eyes, cutting off her thoughts. He turned two ice blue orbs on her and froze.

“Sorcha?” he murmured in disbelief, his voice strained from worry.

“Hey,” she murmured back, trying to give him a reassuring smile. The dark haired man bolted from his seat, nearly tripping over himself, yanked her to a sitting position and hugged her as tightly as he could.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again!” he growled, a fresh batch of tears streaming down his face, “I thought you were dead! I thought I’d lost you!”

“I-I’m sorry,” she replied meekly, overwhelmed by the emotion in his voice,”I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Well, you did and if you ever do it again I… I’ll never forgive you.”

“I’m sorry” was all she could say. She was confused. They were friends and she knew he cared, but she never thought he cared this much. She had always thought that if she disappeared he’d just go on with his life, forget all about her. But here he was sobbing and holding onto her so tight she could barely breathe. She was worthless, so why’d he care enough to cry?

He finally let go of her and wiped his eyes dry. “Why, Sorcha,” he asked searching her eyes, “why’d you do it?” Tears stung her eyes again. He really wanted to know. “Sorcha, please tell me.” She shook her head, burying her face in her hands. Logan gently pushed her hands down and lifted her face. “Please talk to me. You’re my best friend. I want to help.” That made her cry even harder. How could he consider her his best friend? They were always fighting. She did nothing but cause problems for him. Shifting uncomfortably on her hospital bed, she looked away from him. “Sorcha…”

“Because I’m worthless Logan!”

“What?” His mouth dropped open. “How can you say that?”

“Because it’s true!”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is!”

“Sorcha –“

“It’s true a-and why do you even care? We do n-nothing but fight.” He knew they had their problems, but he had always thought it was because they weren’t afraid to tell each other when they were being jerks.

“You think just because we fight that I don’t care? Sorcha, we have our disagreements, everyone does. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you and it doesn’t mean that you’re worthless. If it wasn’t for you I’d still be drinking myself into oblivion. You’re the only one who stuck by me through that. You’re the only one who reached out to me. I owe you my life.” Sorcha remained silent, but she had finally stopped crying. Pulling the stiff hospital sheets closer, she blinked the last of the tears off of her eyelashes. Logan wiped her face dry. “My sweet, precious little Sorcha, don’t you understand?” She looked at him confused; he had never talked to her like that before. “I’m in love with you.”

“You… you are?” she asked, stunned at the admission.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I have a soft spot for red-heads?” he asked, smiling at her and running his fingers through her copper curls.” Sorcha didn’t know if she could handle this. All her life she wanted someone to love her, someone she could love in return and from the moment she had met Logan she had wanted that someone to be him-- she also didn’t believe she was worthy of him.

“Logan, I-I don’t know about this.”

“You don’t feel the same way,” he murmured, dropping his hands from her face. His eyes were suddenly full of disappointment and pain.

“I do,” she said quickly

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve better.”

“Logan –“

“Where’s this coming from?”

“It’s true.”

“No it’s not!” He was getting pissed. He wanted to beat who ever put these ideas in her head. Then suddenly he realized who it was.

“Your mother, that's where this is coming from. Sorcha, she’s wrong. You’re not worthless and you deserve a better life than what you’ve been given and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you, if you’ll let me. Let me take care of you like you’ve taken care of me,” he pleaded, holding her hands tightly. After a long, terrifying moment she nodded. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her gently. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”