Did You Have to Know?

It had been my secret for several years-

I locked it deep inside me.

An acceptable but important truth

I wasn’t ready for you to see.



The secret I had was benign, and I

Knew you wouldn’t mind, but even so

I didn’t yet want you to know.

I was just ninety-five percent sure it was true.



When you asked me the question,

THE question,

You gave me no choice.

Couldn’t lie. Couldn’t hide.

And so I replied in an un-quavering voice

With the truth. Did you have to ask?



I had my reasons

For having not yet told you. Don’t you think I would have told you in the end?

Could you have let me hold on to my secret

For a while more, or did you have to know

Right then?



You told me you loved me, and you tried

To talk with me about it, and I

Couldn’t meet your eyes. Avoided your gaze.

It’s not a big deal to you. It is to me!

And in any case,



Now you rarely mention it. And

When you do, I change the subject,

Not wanting to acknowledge my difference.

Silently making my best

Of this privacy offense.

Why did you have to ask?



Life goes on as normal.

You treat me

No differently, and yes

I’m aware you love me just as much. But even so

I hate it that you know.