Susan

Jake was driving home from work, the same as any other day of the week. His spirits were high, as he had closed the Walker deal today. He had been working towards this closure for months. With his success, he was certain there would be the offer of a promotion. Anticipating Molly’s face when he told her the good news, Jake hoped that there might be a little late afternoon celebration. He’d been so busy with work lately that their sex life had slowed down. He was certain that Molly wasn’t thrilled with this new aspect of their marriage, but he was so tired by the time that he got home from work, he really just couldn’t manage fitting sex in to the equation.

Turning on to the on ramp for the highway, Jake checked his mirrors, unconsciously. He noticed an eighteen-wheeler in the far left lane, but otherwise he was clear to merge. After sliding on to the highway, slipping in to his spot, he adjusted his speed to match those around him. Looking to his left, Jake saw a mother and her two children driving by in a station wagon. The youngest was in a car seat, but the older girl was looking out her window right back at him. He smiled at her freckled face with straight cut brown bangs. He loved kids and Molly and him were planning on having their own sometime in the next year or two. Again, this was something that they had been putting off until his income became a bit more substantial.

The little girl shyly smiled back. Lightly lifting her fingers in a bit of a wave at Jake, until her mother said something to her. Glancing back at her Mom, the girl guiltily pulled her hand down and averted her eyes. Jake noticed how quickly her smile had flipped in to a frown. Feeling a little bad, himself, Jake brought his attention back to the road.

After a few minutes of mind numbing radio, Jake looked over to see that he was once again beside the station wagon. Smiling at the girl again, Jake saw slight recognition in her eyes before she smiled back, bigger this time. Happy to have made a friend, Jake stuck his tongue out at her. She giggled and they went on like this for a few minutes. Crossing eyes, making faces, they were both having a blast.

Suddenly the girls’ mother glanced over her shoulder and said something again to the girl. The girl seemed to be responding, explaining to her mom that they were only playing. Guiltily, Jake averted his eyes. He had gotten his little friend in to trouble and hoped that the mother wasn’t being too harsh. They were only playing around, being kids. Glancing back, he noticed the two arguing still, the mother looking in her rear-view mirror to make eye contact with the girl.

When Jakes eyes went back to the road, he saw a blue sedan slamming on its brakes about a hundred yards in front of the wagon. He looked back at the mom, who was still disciplining her daughter. They were going to hit the sedan at full force! Frantically trying to get her attention, Jake honked his horn, over and over. The woman jerked her eyes forward, but it was too late.

Jake watched in horror as their mouths opened in screams. The little girl buried her head in her knees in hopes of ducking out of the way of danger. The woman’s right arm instinctively went across the empty front seat, guarding her babies. Her back pushed up hard against her seat as she tried to stamp her way to safety; the wheel spinning left, and then right, then left, again.

The sickening crunch as the wagon hit the back of the now stopped sedan at full speed was so loud that it hurt Jake’s ears. He saw the woman’s head split as she hit the front windshield, splattering blood like a dropped watermelon. Safely getting himself to the side of the road, he joined several other cars at the guardrail. Traffic had stopped. Manny people were racing to the now stopped tangled mess of metal. Jake rushed to the wagon, noticing that he heard the faint sound of a baby crying. Relieved, he started pulling at metal to release the screaming infant. Concerned about his silent friend in the back seat, Jake strained to see her.

Still crouched with her head at her knees, she wasn’t moving. His heart fell, hoping that she was unconscious. Hearing sirens in the distance, Jake sat back and let others take over. His basic first aid training told him that he was beginning to experience shock symptoms. Barely noticing the tears roiling down his cheeks, he sat at the side of the road, watching the rescuers. Police, ambulance and fire trucks blocked off the road. There was nowhere to go, even if he had wanted to.

Eventually, they released the mother from her metal cage, rushing her off to a hospital, unconscious and broken. It took them much longer to get the little girl out of the backseat. When they finally did, Jake rose to his feet, wiped his cheeks and waited anxiously for news. He saw the saddened looks in the eyes of the rescue crew. Some of them were shaking their heads, slowly. Jake began to cry again, louder this time. The police took his statement of what he saw and explained to him that it wasn’t his fault. The little girl had died on impact, breaking her neck against the back of the seat in front of her. Her name was Susan.

They finally let the witnesses go home, and Jake climbed in to his car slowly. The rest of his drive home was a blur. Jake couldn’t help but feel responsible for the death of Susan. If he hadn’t been playing with her, her mother would have been watching the road. She would have been able to avoid collision. Susan would still be alive. Moved beyond total despair, Jake passed his own driveway, without acknowledgement. He continued to drive around the city for hours, trying to wrap his head around the events of the afternoon.

Late that night, he went home and told his concerned wife about what had happened. Molly held him as he cried. It wasn’t until several days later that Jake remembered about his success at work. Closing the Walker deal and the prospect of promotion just didn’t seem important to him, now.