BOY

BOY
         <i>Don’t look at her. Who knows what you’d do if you met her eyes.</i> To put it simply, Jackie drives me crazy. I’d always sorta liked her even if she was older than me and quite in love with my brother George. At least that’s what I thought. Then there’s this summer…it just sorta happened. I’ve never told anyone, not a single soul. First, of all, my brother would kill me. No joke. So when she said goodbye to me on the bus, I had to ignore her.<i> It’s the only way. Nothing would ever work out between you two.</i> Sure, her brownish-reddish hair was pretty cute and the way she talked to me made me want to kiss her all over again, but I couldn’t. No, I couldn’t do it. It would just hurt too much in the end.
         As soon as I got off the bus though, I grabbed my skateboard and chased after her. I have no idea what came over me or made me want to go see her. It was pouring rain for god’s sake! But seeing her walking so sadly down the road looking so dejected, just, oh I don’t know. It made me want to pull her close, although I could never let her see that sentimental side of me. I mean real guys just aren’t like that. So I skated down to her full speed, but it was a little <i>too</i> fast and I jumped off just as she turned around, running right into her boobs. Which was quite nice. Except we were both soaked, but it was still nice.
         “Jackie!” Wow, just a little too perky. <i>Calm down Evan.</i>
         “Hello. And what brings you pummeling down the street at my boobs?”
         God she was so adorable…but! I really needed to get my hormones in check. Cause they were going crazy right about now. For an instant I just wanted to go back, back before this summer, before I knew how delicious she was; how soft her lips were. So I acted like a little kid.
         “Face-plant!” This actually went <i>way</i> back between us. During our free period, she would hang out with George and a bunch of other random kids. Of course I would be quite close by. So I would run up to her and shove my face into her boobs. All in childish fun though. But I can’t act like that any more. It’s stupid, and I’m not a little kid anymore. I’ve grown up. I proved that over the summer. I have to stay away from her, for her own good. I mean I don’t even think she likes me. So why was I acting this way? <i>She’s dating your brother.</i> Yes! Exactly! I had to pull myself together.
         “I’m still mad at you, you know” <i>Lies, all lies.</i> Except that she’s still dating my brother, who’s a total scumbag. So I could “hate” her for that.
         “Wait why?” Jackie replied. “I’m so confused…I mean it’s like you just stopped talking to me…and after this summer, well I don’t know…Please, tell me why.”
         <i>Play it cool, following her was a mistake…don’t let her get to you. Just walk away.</i> Right. I can’t possibly tell her I like her. That would put her in such an awkward position. Evan or George? Well, seeing how I totally just blew her off and have been, I have a feeling she <i>wouldn’t</i> pick me. I have to walk away from her—again.
         “Ha ha ha...this summer? You’re funny when you’re confused…well, let’s keep it that way. I’ll see you tomorrow." I felt like such a dickhead right there, but oh well. I turned, grabbed my board and skated away.
         Why did it hurt so much? I felt like shit. If only I could’ve had some guts and asked her how she feels. Or told her how bad I missed talking to her, giving her hugs, and seeing her smile. Stupid rain. Always puts me in a bad mood.