I Think My Bird Is A Zombie

I Think My Bird Is A Zombie


Help! Oh please, somebody.

I think my cockatiel is possessed by demons. He's out to get me. I'm sure of it.

It's terrible, absolutely terrible. He sits on my head and growls and snarls w/ no end in sight. He's very smelly too. I think he's decomposing. He smells like dead fish and grave rot. I've never actually witnessed grave rot, but I know he smells like it. Ominous little coils of mushy mud are deposited wherever he goes.....

I'm so scared; I buried him in my backyard hoping to finally get a good nights' rest. Next thing I know, Cujo is clutching my nose w/ his blood-caked talons, trying to pry my eyes out of their sockets. It's unnatural, I'm telling you! Even 2 strands of firecrackers wasn't enough to destroy the rabid little beast.

So, I taped his wings to his sides w/ duct tape and placed him in an old safe. I then dumped the safe into the swift currents of the Delta River...I thought I had finally seen the last of him, till I heard his unearthly growls at the front door. As I write this missive I fear for my life, I hope that

OHMYGO------........
*crash, bang, smoosh*