Short Story

Tonights a bad night. They sneak up on you, the bad ones. You think you're crusing along, strong and clear-headed and then the saddness just smacks you in the face without warning.
I made English muffin pizzas and stood there watching them bake, and suddenly, I was crying. Crying had, leaning over the sink, a sick feeling twisting my stomache into a tighter knot.
It surprised me even as I cried harder. I thought, where is this coming from? I wasn't even thinking about him at that moment. I cried for about 10 minutes, just long enough to get puffy eyes and a completly stuffed up nose. I felt better, but that lingering saddness feeling was still there, waiting somewhere I could still feel it but couldn't quite pinpoint where.
I missed him so much, I almost heard his voice. He's only been gone a week, I thought. A looong week. What's the next few months going to be like? I felt like I was in the middle of the ocean, in a tiny boat, all alone and pitiful.


When I met him, he at first only vaguely mentioned he was a marine. Maybe he went into a little detail, but I was probably just wondering what it would be like to make out with him. What a gorgeous man. He was everything typical a female was made to be attracted to. Tall, muscular, tan with a chisled face, a genuine smile and the coolest sense of humor ever. I was even nervous around him at first. I didn't meet his eyes, I actually got flustered. Who gets flustered anymore?
I liked him instantly. He made me laugh and feel safe, and those are two things I think are priceless. Thinking back to our firstfe dates, I love him a little bit more just for being him.
Things moved so quickly! We were together everyday, every moment. I felt so close to him instantly! It was like we knew eachother forever. We had so many fun nights this summer, it was maybe the best of my life. He's never afraid to be romantic. It was always from the heart, every sweet thing he did, it was always real. I love that about him.
I fell in love with ease. Thinking back now, I'd have to be crazy NOT to love him, anyone would. I knew that this man was my all. I was done. Send the search party home, we found him.
Isn't it always the way that life works out. It almost seems like it waits for you to reach that moment of happiness, and like the teacher you hated shouts "surprise test!!! Let's see how you do".
He was called back in. To fight a war I despise, under a man I loathe. He went in with pride and dignity, as is his way. I wouldn't picture him going in any other way.
I'm terrified of the unknown. A million thoughts pass through my head each day, most of them morbid or negative. He gets deployed in a month, but has been gone in training for two so far. He was home for the holidays, and I had the most wonderful holiday I can remember. I think that made it harder to say goodbye again. He made me laugh all the way to the airport, especially as we hugged. he made me laugh through tears, which made me feel a little crazy.
We were married three days after Christmas. Small ceremony, but no matter. I'm thrilled to be his wife. And devestaded he's left so soon.
Our baby is due in August, he won't be here for it. That terrifies me to no end. Never in my life have I prayed so hard. I hope he's listening.