How to scare a prankster straight

How to scare a prankster straight.
By Alva Roberts

There comes a time whenever most people believe that some pranks go to far and they’ve had it with a prankster.  When this happens then one should really evaluate their situation.  If you have a prankster that has made you a victim, then you need to make a choice.  You can either put up with it, ask the individual to stop, or get even.  When all else fails the path of silent revenge is often over looked.

When I was younger, I had a brother who was especially mischievous.  Often he would target me for his pranks.  One time when we were camping, I was showering and my brother took off with my clothes and I had to walk back to our campsite in just a towel.  To make matters worse my, campsite was at the other end of the campgrounds.  When I returned to the camper, there was a note that said, “Gotcha, and by the way get dressed you loser!”  I opened the camper door and started to enter when I heard his laugh.  As I looked up, I saw why he was laughing.  In front of me was all of the regular camping crew, even the ladies.  I just walked through till I reached the bathroom.  I knew I had to re-evaluate my situation.  I had been the victim of his pranks for far too long.  When I walked out of the bathroom, I think he thought I was going to be irate.
He asked, “What is the matter Al?  Are you mad?’ 
“ Not at all, Bub,” I replied, “After all, all is fair in love and war.”
“What is that suppose to mean?” he asked. 
At that point, I realized silence was a virtue I had long over looked.

The next day it was obvious, that the war was on.  The time to plan was now.  I pondered for a while, and then I really started to brainstorm and really get in the mood for payback.  As I looked around the vacant camper, at first I saw the obvious prankster things: Ex-lax, rubber gloves, and toilet paper.  Whom, what a philosophy, I thought to myself.  Then I felt something in the back of my head.  Wow that was evil, I think that will work.  So grabbed the rubber gloves, toilet paper and a plastic bag and took the back way into the woods.  After a little stroll I had found what I was looking for.  The key to what makes someone completely miserable for at least 3 weeks is poison ivy.  Oh yeah, silent but deadly.

To make your enemy realize that he is not God, you must use some of God’s creations.  Take the glove and protect your hands and keep your gloves on at all time during your revenge process.  Next, get your bag open and ready.  When your bag is ready, put the poison ivy leaves in the bag.  After you have collected the main ingredient.  It is time to advance to the next stage.  Toilet paper preparation.  Go to a secluded place and unroll the toilet paper.  You are ready to place the leaves of poison ivy on the paper, and then roll the paper back into a roll.  Place the roll of toilet paper back into the bag.  Whenever you have poison ivy what are the two things that make it spread?  In case you do not know the answer is heat and moisture.  So, take your bag and find a very sunny spot.  When night falls, put the bag, open of course in this spot so moisture collects inside the bag prior to sunrise.  Let it sit there all night and all the next day.  At the end of the next day it will be time to collect your prize with gloves on, of course.  Unroll the toilet paper again and remove the poison ivy.  Now carefully re-roll the tissue and put it back in the bag.  This may seem just little bit too spiteful, but then again after all, “all is fair in love and war.”

The next day stage three had begun.  I needed some lipstick.  Luckily, I found some in my moms’ car.  Then, I gathered a pen and pencil.  I knew where there was a single port-a-john, and I knew my brother had crush on a girl at camp named Jenny.  He never had the nerve to ask her out.  Little did he know this was his lucky day, so I began to write.  .  Jenny wanted to meet him in the woods next to the port-a-john location, according to my letter.  Then I applied a little red lipstick and sealed it with a kiss.  Later on that night I left it on the door handle.  At dinner that was all he talked about.  While he was washing up for dinner, I slipped him a little of Ex-lax in his chili.  Not much just 8 or 9 teaspoons full.  Then I mixed it in to make it blend in with the chili.  After dinner I ran to the port-a-john where I had instructed my brother to go in Jenny’s letter and took all the toilet paper out.  Then, with my gloves on, I grabbed my homemade surprise.  Next, I put the roll on the floor where the other rolls had been and threw my gloves in the toilet.  Then I hid in the brush and silently waited for my prize.

Finally, my brother was on his way.  To my surprise the ex-lax had already started working.  My brother started to run towards the port-a-john.  At this point I thought one word in my mind Victory.  There was a victory every five minutes for the next hour until he decided to return to the campsite.  Later that night he started to itch his behind.  It was hard, but I did not laugh in front of him.  I had to take a lot of strolls that night to laugh it off.  The next day, the gig was up he had caught on.  Jenny never showed up and he now had a rash on his behind after having the runs all night.  He never really asked me about it, but I’m sure he knew he had been pranked.

Please be aware that this silent booby trap can have several side effects.  I would advise you not to use this approach.  Whenever you make your choices please take in mind the outcome of your prank may result in worse pranks with you as the target.  No matter if you put up with the pranks or take action against your prankster(s).  Remember at all times that silence is a virtue and you should never over look that.  Beside, if your prankster doesn’t really know who got him, then he may be scared to prank for a while.  Once again never over look the path of the silent, because it might be the best way to scare a prankster straight.