Almost

Almost, what an ugly little word.  Ever hear someone say: "I almost won the lottery?"  Think about the logic behind that statement, they didn't win the mother load, no, they almost won.  Almost implies very little, just short of.  Almost is a word that I do not like.  It is like telling someone that they are just not good enough, they are second best.  First runner up, second place, no different.  I don't want to hear that, especially after all the blood, sweat, and tears I put into something. It is like saying better luck next time sweetie.  It's just ugly at it's best.

Today, which was no different than any other day was filled with an abundance of almosts.  I almost stuck to my diet, I almost went to the gym this morning, then again this afternoon, I almost cried today over a man that I almost got back together with, I almost finished taking down my Christmas decorations and I almost lost it at work today. 

I almost sat down and worked on my children's story that I have not touched in over a year, I almost jotted down some ideas that popped into my head durning the day for that story, I almost feel like screaming because I lost most of that story somehow in this darned computer, I almost want to hit the delete button and forget that I even started that story over 2 years ago, I almost want to forget that I promised my grandfather that I would write, God rest his soul.

I almost want to forget that my mother has breast cancer and lives each day like its her last, I almost want to forget that her cancer is not curable, I almost want to forget how much pain she is going through. 

Almost, just short of, close but no cigar.  I am amazed that as much as I dislike this ugly little word, it seems to surround me where ever I go.  Almost, I almost like what I wrote!  Almost.