Written for Dialogue 500. Is Santa ever naughty? |
First Place "Ouch! Why do people insist on having a fire on Christmas eve? Everyone knows I have to come down-" "Santa, I've been waiting up for you." "Now, Santa can't leave any presents until all good girls are in bed." "But Santa, I've been a bad girl, and I got something for you." "Ho! Ho! Whoa! Um.." "A very special Christmas gift for you..big..round, and jolly." "Maybe you should put that back on. Your nipples, er... I mean It's quite chilly in here." "Oh no Santa, I'm hot. Maybe you'd like to take off your coat?" "No need to unbutton my coat. I'm fine." "Your beard is so soft, like cotton. I bet it tickles." "I really need to go. It's a really busy night you know." "Why Santa, is that a peppermint stick in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" "It's candy. Would you like some? Ho ho, that tickles, I can get it out of my pocket, no need to help." "Mmmm! so sweet." "You really like sucking on those, huh? I don't think you should stick it so far ..into your... mouth...like...that." "Don't worry, I like to get a big juicy mouthful. Got anything else sweet in those pants?" "I have a few chocolate balls. No maybe I already gave....Um.. those aren't chocolate, my dear." "All I'm asking for is one night of bouncing against that belly and finding out if it really is like a bowl full of jelly." "You are a naughty one aren't you." "Come on over her and slide down my chimney, Santa." "Whew! It is getting a tad warm in here, but..I..I can't. I'm a married man." "What's a girl gotta do to turn you on? There's no way Mrs. Claus looks like this." "I'll admit her bazooms aren't firm, round and perky, and she isn't as nicely groomed in the south pole region, but she is a wildcat." "Old Mrs.Claus?" "Yeah, She's a nymphomaniac. I'm at her mercy 364 days a year. Christmas is the only night my package get's a rest. So, put your pretty little robe back on, and let me see what I can find in my bag for you. Oh yes, a little toy to get you through the night." "Thanks Santa." "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas to all, and to all the good night." "Wait Santa! I don't have any batteries!" Word count 405 |