This is the first chapter of the story.It's about letting go of pain and loving again! |
Chapter1:Learning to Love "Sarah please tell me what's on your mind." He asked as I sat there blankly starring out the window with teary eyes. "Is it somehthing I did? Or said?" He pleaded me to talk. Instead, I just turned my back and began to walk out of the room. As I walked off, he jumped out of the chair and chased after me. Just as my hand touched the doorknob, he grabbed me by the wrist and pull me close to him. As he squeezed my wrist I winced in pain. "Sarah whats wrong? Did I hurt you? I did not squeeze your wrist that hard did I?" He question as his crystal blue eyes filled with concern. I could not look him in the eyes so I just stared down at me feet. "No, you didn't do it again did you? Please tell me you haven't cut yourself again?" He begged. But my silence spoke of my answer With this he collapsed into my arms. He broke out into tears. I don't think any guy has ever cared this much. I know no guy has ever cried over me like this. So why do I push him away? "Why? I don't understand. Do I not make you happy enough? And what was wrong with you a couple minutes ago? One second you're in my arms and your kissing me like tomorrow doesn't exist. Then the next second you pull away from me and start crying. What did I do?" He tried to get me to open up. "You don't understand. It's nothing you did. Its my past haunting me. I want to love you with out any restrictions Darren, but i can't. I can never hold you with out feeling guilty. There is so much of me that is dead now. So much of my heart that has put up an iron guard" I explained to him. There was so much of who I used to be and who i am now that i will forever hide from anyone. Or at least so i think. Even though its so hard to keep from cuddling in his arms and telling him all of my pain... |