Dual Love

I
A love story…

Rahul hurriedly tied his shoe laces. He was already late for his daily bus. He didn’t want to be so late that he would miss her. He smiled at himself at that thought. It seemed impossible how much he had started depending on these small…What could he call them? They could hardly be called meetings. Those moments when he would stand outside his class and she would stand outside her’s. In the same corridor. He would always look and imagine that she was also throwing furtive glances in his direction. Whether his day was going to be a good one or a bad one was to be decided by these brief encounters. If one day he was late enough for the peon to have come and opened the classes he would sit and brood the whole day. Then he would look for her everywhere else his friends took him. If, on a particular day, she would arrive at almost the same time, they would ride the elevator together. She also smiled at him sometimes. Those days, he would hardly ever talk to anyone. Just softly sing passionate songs for a loved one.

But today was going to be different, he hoped. He hoped to confess it to the girl today. He had been contemplating about the time and date from a long time. He had asked around and came to know that she was a South-Indian. He had been only too happy to hear it. He was a Malayali himself. Her name was Prabha and she seemed to him to be the most beautiful thing on Earth. She had shining curly hair, and golden brown skin. She got dimples when she smiled. She had big, almond-shaped eyes. She often wore the colour yellow. Eventually, Rahul had come to associate the colour with her. He smiled Everytime he saw the colour. She smelled of coconut, mixed with orchids and lemon. He loved the smell. It drove him crazy.

Today it was the 8th of August. 8 was Prabha’s lucky number. And his too. It seemed like the perfect day. He hurried down the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator. He ran all the way to the gate and called for a cab. “Churchgate station?” he asked the cabbie. And sat down, not bothering to hear the cabbie’s answer. Throughout his ride he only thought of her. Of what he would tell her. “Hi. I am Rahul and I’ve seen you around. Wanted to know if you would marry me?” He laughed then felt guilty of taking this so lightly. The girl could get really angry. And that could mean that he would no more even see her. He again started having second thoughts. But he stubbornly didn’t allow his mind to stray. He had decided this a week ago and he would stick to it. After all, he thought, it was 8th August today!

He hurried up the two floors and was glad to see the usual sight. A few students standing outside the classroom doors. Waiting for the peon to come and open the classrooms, one-by-one. His heart started racing. He suddenly wanted to turn around and go away. But he wouldn’t do it. He had to talk to her today! If nothing else, at least make sure that the girl starts noticing him. He reached his classroom. Her’s was the classroom after the one next to his. He searched among the sea of sleepy faces. He couldn’t find her. His heart sank. It meant she hadn’t come today. Disappointment filled his heart. Then he thought, maybe she’s just late. Maybe she’ll come in the next five minutes. But five minutes passed and there was still no sign of her. Then came the peon, doing his everyday chore of opening the doors. After the peon opened his class, Rahul trudged inside feeling dispirited. He sat down on the last bench, while the professor entered the class. Just as the professor was closing the door, Rahul saw someone run past his class. Someone in pale yellow. He smiled to himself, once again.

Oh come on now! thought Rahul, desperately wishing the class to end so that he could go out of the class. The time was up for the lecture but the professor didn’t seem to be aware of it. Someone’s cellphone’s alarm started ringing. Rahul was grateful. The professor seemed to be shaken out of his reverie and wound up the class and left. Rahul hurried behind him and looked towards her class. The door was still shut. He eased out a little. He now had the time to think about what he wanted to tell her. The problem was, all of a sudden, he too didn’t remember just exactly what he wanted to tell her.

The door of her classroom opened. The professor came out and then the students started coming out in groups. Suddenly, he saw her. Chattering and giggling at the same time with her group of friends. He felt his hands become sweaty. She looked at him. He looked away, then returned his gaze on her to see that she had looked away and now, was busy talking to a girl next to her. She started walking in his direction with her friends. As they came closer Rahul’s heart started beating faster and louder. He wished that his heart would stop acting so out of control. He was worried that the sound of his heart beating would reach them, too. As if they could decipher this thought out of Rahul’s head, the whole group started giggling loudly. She looked at him again and this time Rahul held the gaze. He smiled. He had seen it in her eyes. She smiled at the knowledge that passed between the two, too. She lowered her eyes shyly and walked passed him. He just stood there smiling to himself. That day, he wasn’t on the third floor of his college. He was Somewhere Else. On the seventh heaven. He walked, flew to the stairs and went down to the canteen to meet his friends. But, when he reached there, he was surprised to find Prabha standing near the stairs all by herself, something which she never did. When she noticed him, her body became tense, alert. She dropped her handkerchief and then picked it up and walked away very quickly. Rahul was bemused by this. Then he noticed a little piece of paper lying at the place where she had dropped her handkerchief. He skipped several stairs to get to the paper, his heart hammering out of control. On it, there was a mobile number with a smiley. He felt giddy with joy and excitement.

Rahul couldn’t believe that he was feeling so nervous to call her when it was she, herself, who gave him the number. Hands shivering, he dialed the number. The phone started ringing. A girl’s voice answered, “Hello?”
Silence.
“Hello??”
“Hello. Do you remember me?” said Rahul.
“Who’s this?”
“I’m in your college.”
Silence, but this time, from the other side.
“Hello? Did I upset you Prabha?”
“No” a shy voice said.
“I’ll be waiting for you at the ‘Shiv Sagar’ restaurant. 5.30. You will come, right?”
Silence, once again.
“Prabha?”
“You know my name?”
“Will you come or not?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes.”
“YES!!!”
“Yes.”

It seemed as if someone had painted that smile on his face. He was floating in and out of rooms in his house. Walking was for people whose life was filled with monotony. No excitement. He was not among them. Everything seemed good today. It was the 8th August, after all. His lucky day.

At 5.00 he left from his house. He still felt a little shaky. Nervous. After all, this would be the first time he would actually talk to her. The phone conversation was hardly even a conversation. On his way he bought flowers. Red and yellow. Yellow. For her. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He was singing under his breath. He couldn’t wait. He reached the restaurant 5 minutes early. He took a nice little table near the window and waited anxiously, looking over at the door every 2 minutes. Minutes ticked by. Slowly, half an hour went by. She wants to see if I love her enough to wait for her, he thought to himself. He waited. It was 6.30 now. This was a bit too much. How could she make him wait for so long? He started counting the seconds to himself. Another hour passed by. His heart felt like it was made of lead. He couldn’t believe she had ditched her. He was heart broken, but the hope hadn’t gone entirely. He thought if he didn’t leave, he would end up crying. He got up and walked to the door. He threw the flowers in the dust bin near the door. He didn’t feel like going home just yet. He called one of his friends. The network was busy. He tried again. Busy, busy, busy. Exasperated he tried calling another friend. Again busy. He shoved his cellphone in his pocket. He looked around. He went to a small shop and bought himself a cigarette. The shop keeper was talking to another man about a bomb blast that had occurred somewhere. Rahul’s senses snapped back to his surroundings. “Where? A bomb blast? When? Are you sure?” he blabbered. The shop keeper looked at him with curiosity and said “Do you live in this town or not? Don’t you know? There was a series of bomb blasts around 5 today. One was not very far away from here. At a place called Jawahar Nagar. In a BEST bus.” Rahul’s mind exploded. Prabha lived near Jawahar Nagar. He called her phone. Network busy. Finally he got through to the number. No-one answered. At his 7 th try, a man picked up the phone and said “Who’s this? The person you are calling was on the bus in which one of the blasts has occurred. Near Jawahar Nagar. We have notified the person’s family, is there any message I can pass on to her family?” said a man’s voice. Everything just crumbled in front of Rahul.

He still has no memory of how he reached Jawahar Nagar or how he helped her family take her to the hospital. All he remembers is the intense feeling of guilt that surrounded him, tried to drown him. He had found it very difficult to breathe. He hadn’t slept all night and stayed in the hospital. Her parents were grateful to the outsider for giving them the support they needed very much. Finally, the doctor had opened the door to the emergency ward and said that she had survived but would be handicapped for life. Pure relief filled him. He was palliated to know that she was ok. And alive. He had avoided saying that word all night. But now he could.

Yes, that was definitely the worst day of his life. He sometimes marveled at how quickly his belief had changed. Prabha, sleeping next to him, opened her eyes. He looked at her and smiled. “Do you want something?” he asked. “No, but why don’t you go to sleep, honey? The lights will wake the kids up” she said.

II
With a different perspective…

She knew that he liked her. She also knew that there was hardly anything she could do about it. Everyday, he stared at her in the corridors while everyone was waiting for the classes to be opened. She tried to ignore him. But she would only end up thinking more about him. As for him, he thought she hated him. Sometimes when she was laughing or smiling, her face would turn into a scowl, because he had passed, staring at her. But he couldn’t help it. Whenever she was around he just couldn’t take her eyes off her. They weren’t in the same class. She was in S.Y.B.Com and he was in F.Y. B.A. She was older to him. But to him, all that didn’t matter. Their timings clashed quite often and he would keep looking over at her, no matter what she was doing.

He would often think about her, when she was not around. Somehow he thought that there was something more than just hate in her eyes, when she saw him. She looked at him with an emotion that he couldn’t yet decipher. He probably would never be able to decipher. He knew he could never get her. But still, his love for her always lurked in his heart, not wanting to pass.

The college’s annual day party was approaching. Everyone seemed to be excited for it. Except for two people. For both of them the reason was the same. A few days ago, in the annual day function, he was compeering a game show, which was giving out lucky draw prizes to the audience. Among the audiences, she was the one who won the lucky draw. The whole auditorium had started whooping, and saying “it was planned”. He had suddenly realized that his obsession for her was quite famous. She, on the other hand was highly embarrassed and had actually walked up to the stage and slapped him and left the auditorium. He was too dumbstruck to speak so he had just left the podium and gone out, too. After that day she hadn’t come to college for 2 days. Now, in the party, he was sure she would come. And his friends wouldn’t let him not come, either. So both of them were going to meet each other for the first time since that event. He was scared. She was anxious.

The evening arrived and both of them set out, hoping to have fun and hoping to try and ignore each other. Throughout the evening they stuck to their hopes and managed to have fun, even ignore each other. Towards the end of the party, he was feeling tipsy. He wanted to smoke a cigarette. So he went to the balcony. While he was lighting the cigarette, she came out, talking on the phone. She didn’t seem to have noticed him and was arguing loudly on the phone. Finally she hung up and looked around, fuming. Something changed in her when she saw him. They both looked at each other for a few seconds, and the next moment, suddenly, both of them were kissing each other. It was an intense, passionate kiss. First cautious, then urgent. As if both of them had been waiting for this opportunity. It seemed like ages passed by, when they stopped kissing. Both of them held the gaze and smiled to each other. Just then a group of people opened the door and the loud music seemed to shake them from their oblivion. They walked a few steps back and then stealing a last look at each other, disappeared into the crowd.

He had been thinking of calling her since morning. Now, after having spoken to his best friend, who was a girl herself, he decided he would do it now. Getting her number was not a problem. They had a lot of common friends. When he called her she took a long time to answer. Finally, when she did, she sounded like she had been crying.
“Hello?” she said.
Silence.
“Hello?” she said again.
Silence, again.
“Is that you?” she said, suddenly whispering.
“Yes.” He said. “Let’s meet? Please?”
“I can’t.” she said.
“Please…Just once. I won’t take much of your time. Please?”
“Okay. Shiv Sagar Restaurant. 5.30.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye.”

On his way he didn’t know what to tell her. He just knew one thing. This was his only chance of getting her. If he could convince her now, she would be his. But what would he tell her? He reached Shiv Sagar 5 minutes early. He took a nice little table near the window and waited anxiously, looking over at the door every 2 minutes. Minutes ticked by. Slowly, half an hour went by. She wants to see if I love her enough to wait for her, he thought to himself. He waited. It was 6.30 now. This was a bit too much. How could she make him wait for so long? He started counting the seconds to himself. Another hour passed by. He couldn’t wait any longer. If she wanted to prove a point, she was successful. He would never call her again. He left the restaurant and looked around for something to do. He didn’t want to go home. His best friend would ask him what happened. And he wouldn’t be able to give an answer to that. He felt very angry at her for doing this to him.

Just then, his cellphone started buzzing. He took the call. It was his friend. From college.
“Hey. What’s up? Dude, I just called up to tell you about that girl. Did you know she has a boy friend? She doesn’t look like that type, does she? But she does. Vishal saw her with a guy yesterday. She went with him somewhere after the party, in a car.”

He didn’t realize when he dropped his phone. He was shaking with anger. He couldn’t believe that she had made such a big fool out of him. He could only imagine her kissing someone else now, making fun of him, she and her boy friend, laughing at him. Tomorrow the whole college would know about it. Everyone would laugh at his foolishness. He had to find her. Now. And know why she had done this to him. He went to her place. She lived alone. With her boyfriend.

It was all over the papers by the next day. “A young jilted lover kills the man who the girl was in love with.” With a photograph of his. He didn’t know where to run. He didn’t know how it had happened. He was hungry, tired, sleepy and on the run from the Law. He had spent the night riding a truck on the highway, without the knowledge of the driver. He didn’t even know where he was. He figured he would be in the extreme northern part of the town, if he was still in the town. There were small houses and small shops all around him but he didn’t have much money with him. He went to a nearby shop and asked for water. The woman who opened the door gave him a suspicious look and went inside to fetch the water. He realized that he must be looking like a fugitive on the run. Then he reminded himself that he was one. In one night he had become one.

It took the police just 15 hours to get hold of him. He was hiding in a village on the outskirts of the town. Someone had seen and recognized him sleeping under a tree and notified the police. Now, he was screaming for mercy, as the police tortured him into confessing the crime. But he kept saying only one thing: It wasn’t me. When asked if the murder was committed in front of him, he said nothing. Just kept saying “I didn’t do anything”. There were other suspects, too. The watchman, who had a tussle with the guy; a man who was a friend of the victim, but their friendship had gone sour over some issue of money. But he was the prime suspect because witnesses had said that they had seen him around the house at the time when the murder took place and he had an immediate reason to kill the victim.

She saw all this with her patient eyes. She knew it wasn’t fair. But there was hardly anything she could do about it. Till now, she had used her alibi that said she wasn’t around the scene of the crime. Then she heard that he was sentenced to life imprisonment. Then she couldn’t take it any longer. She went to the police and gave her testimony, which was:
“I loved the man who died, but he had begun to harass me. He kept on abusing me everyday. In every way, on every level I was harassed. Then I noticed this boy in my college. He kept looking at me with his loving eyes. Out of everyone I had met, he seemed like the only person who saw through me. His eyes were never greedy, but always full of praise. I started getting attracted to him. But I knew my boy friend would never allow that. He would kill him and me if I told him anything about it. So I kept quite and discouraged all his advances. Then one day I humiliated him in front of the whole college. I felt like I was the worst person in the world but I knew I had to do something that would make him realize what a bad person I am. And that I did, by slapping him. It seemed to work quite well, too. At the party he kept away from me and didn’t look in my direction more than once. But then I had a fight withy my boy friend. He was arguing that I should leave the party immediately and come home. I was very angry. He was supposed to be at the party with me but he had ditched me, last minute. And there he was, the guy from my college. He looked at me with the same eyes, same emotions. I couldn’t hold it and my feelings got the better out of me. The next day he called me up. I was still having fights with my boy friend. I agreed to go and meet this guy atleast once. But my boy friend heard me talking to him and got really violent. He kept beating me and I didn’t retaliate. But when he came at my place and saw me getting beaten by boy friend, he tried to stop my boy friend. My boy friend hit him, too. Then, in a particularly violent fit, while trying to struggle with that guy and trying to hit me, too, he hit himself with the knife that was in that guy’s hands. He didn’t murder him. My boyfriend pulled his hands towards himself. My boyfriend’s accident.”