Shopping with my mother

My hormonal changes clashed with my mother’s when she was going through menopause. We had many problems communicating and getting along during my puberty years and her menopausal ones. Perhaps, it is fortunate that it was during the same period of time and so we only had to endure it (though at twice the expected intensity) for a few years. Nevertheless, it was thoroughly frustrating whenever I wanted to do some shopping.

As I was at that age of wanting more fashionable clothes and whatnot, my opinions and taste differed greatly with my mother’s. She was always either insulting my taste or commenting on how hideous I looked when I tried outfits on, which resulted in several quarrels in various malls. Once we even went home in separate ways after a major spiteful exchange. As with most other teenagers, I gave up and preferred to shop with my friends. Most naturally, my mother was extremely displeased but eventually relented and gave me shopping money when I requested for it.

So for many years my mother and I rarely went out together, since we would only end up quarrelling. It was not only after I started living overseas on my own that both my mother and I began to be amicable to each other when shopping. When I first studied abroad in Shanghai, we shopped for necessities together. That was probably the first time in many years that we went out together with not a single grunt from either one of us. Perhaps we had more patience for each other due to all that lost shopping time throughout the years.

After living on my own, I have been able to share interesting anecdotes with my mother regarding housekeeping and the various products to maintain household cleanliness and such. I listen attentively to her numberless wise advice, whilst she laughs and encourages me when I tell her of some silly mishaps I have had while struggling on my own in foreign land. We may not be walking arm in arm yet, but at least we take turns to push the trolley as we browse and share stories while walking through the aisles in the supermarkets. When she came to Shanghai for a holiday, we shopped at the various malls, and bargained together with shopkeepers in small shops. After shopping, we would be excitedly exchanging bargaining tips and arguing (humorously) over who received the best bargain that day.

Sometimes throwing yourself out of your comfort zone is the only way to make you appreciate what you had and have. In my case, I had to throw myself in a land far from home to learn to respect my mother’s opinions and advice. I’m glad our relationship has turned from sour to sweet, and hope there will be many instances to come to taste the sweet.