My experiences of foster care

My experience of Foster Care

by Jake Roberts

Late 1973 was a hard time for the average family in the United Kingdom, so much so that the government instituted an enforced 3 day working week to cut back on energy resources. This had a dramatic effect on the lower income families, many of whom were already bordering on the poverty line.

As a result of the increased poverty, the number of children in the UK being placed into foster care or given up for adoption rose dramatically.

I was one of those children. My mother, a 32 year old with a severe alcohol problem, was already struggling to bring up two older children. My father had died as a result of alcohol related diseases about 4 months prior to my birth.

I was to be placed into temporary foster care until such times that my Mother had dealt with her alcohol issues and also was more financially stable. As it turns out that "temporary" care lasted 16 years, and I am proud to say that I loved every single moment of it.

My foster Mum had already adopted two other children, both older than me, and in effect I had a ready made family. As well as caring for the 3 of us, she continued to take on more foster children short term. These placements would usually vary from 1 week to about 6 months. All in all, she fostered a total of 43 children and adopted 2.

My earliest memories of anything being different in family life were the regular visits by social workers. One of my earliest childhood memories was being told that the social worker was coming that day and being petrified they were coming to take me away. I would hide behind my foster parents’ record player and hope that no one would find me. I honestly cannot remember to this day ever actually being told that I was fostered, but it's just something I always seemed to know.

In the early 1980s, my foster Mum suffered her first heart attack. She then had another 2 in 1981 and was left with no option but to stop fostering any new children. Thankfully for me I was to remain, but she never did seem the same after that. It's almost like a piece of her died. Regardless of that, she continued to show unstinting love to all 3 of us until sadly she was taken away from us in 1986, a final and massive heart attack taking her to a place where she could love all God's children.

I continued to live with my foster father for a few years after that. He re-married when I was 15 and his wife and I did not get on at all. I was asked to leave 2 days after my 16th birthday.

A couple of years ago I managed to trace my natural brother through a well known website and was rather saddened to find that my natural Mother died just a few years ago. The blow of never being able to meet her was softened by the news that she had told my natural family that she had given me up as I had Spina Bifida. (untrue)

So there we have my experience of foster care. I know there are horror stories out there and yes, as with all of life, there were ups and downs. But I am proud to say that I was fostered by one of God's angels. I will never as long as I live forget the love, comfort and security that Mum showed to a complete stranger.

Love you always Mum xx