An insight look to why I made excuses for so long |
He Loves Me Why did I hide the tears and why did I hide the pain? Why did I believe him when he said “It will never happen again”? Now so much anger and hatred has built up deep inside Why didn’t I just run from him, why did I choose to stay and hide? The hurt and pain can damage your soul with such a might That your whole inner person starts to give up the fight You become a former shadow of who you were before If only I had the strength to walk out of that door The countless one last chance to him I kept on giving When really my heart no longer wanted to keep on living I could never forgive nor will I ever forget But I will not let my life be filled with regret For he has taught me well throughout our time together The first was to fear him which no doubt will stay with me forever But that fear turns to anger then anger turns to hate as time goes bye And soon you have cried so much that there are no tears left to cry Each new day only brings more time for him to install a new rule To be honest I don’t think there were this many rules at school I am not to do this and I dare not ever do that To agree that I am only a size eight but of course I am fat Mind games can only occur while your mind works But then what happens when the mind starts to break When nothing seems real, you don’t even know your own name How can this man think that this is a game? You start going insane and time starts to stand still I know now what can drive a “normal” woman to kill When you know that the reason you feel this inside Is down to one man you loved so much so that When you wake up every new morning, wishing you were no longer here When nothing in the world holds anything that is any longer dear When breathing and having to live this life doesn’t matter anymore That’s when I really wish I had walked out and closed that door. |