childhood scream

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A wicked past has stunted my growth
Reliving, remembering those that loathe,
Never to stop until my life's end,
Young, my trauma was beginning.
My childhood's revealed
Leaving me stripped and peeled,
I try to keep these Wounds concealed;
They Rub and cut into my core so deep.
These scars hurt me, I weep
Many years I have lost,
Self worth and confidence were my cost
Confusion and wonder float in my mind
Vulnerable, lonely, almost barron inside..
I search for something, somewhere to rest
To dream, in my mind, for love my quest
looking for the sun, will it rise.
Never, it wouldn't be a surprise
Unlucky with true happiness,
and always, failing bliss....
I am unsure, if I can find this,
Living in moments frozen they stand
My feet are sinking in quicksand
These fragments like fog engulf my mind
Bringing with them sadness, enough to swallow mankind
Blinded are my eyes, full of tears, I fall
Really, what is here anyway after all
Bits and pieces, of me, for everyone to see
trying to gather them searching, endlessly
Numb and much discontentment they reveal
I must be dying inside, no love there is to feel.
Insecurity surrounds me now,
Dwelling and wondering, could I be insanity bound
I can't find my place to where I belong
My journey continues the road is long
The hurt remains what's still behind
Energy depleated, I'm tired, I need to unwind
I can't breathe as these thoughts smother me.
Taking the very air that I breathe.
Maybe, my time here is complete
I would welcome the finale, defeat.
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