On Christmas Eve

Snow falls outside my window as I gaze into it, stricken with worry. Slowly the snowflakes fall, some lifted hopefully by the wind, but destined to die away the moment they touch the ground. Although outside my window the rest of Linz might rejoice over the holidays, I am afraid that their happiness does not reach us.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Quickly, I rose from my seat at the window to open said door. On the other side stood the doctor, his face pale and plagued by worry. "Adolf, I am afraid that your mother has gotten worse than before" he informed me. Upon hearing the grim news, I followed him into the room where my mother was.

Lying in a small bed in the middle of the room was my mother. Her face was the palest I had yet seen, and a heartbreaking feeling of despair could be seen in her light-gray eyes. "Even though she is very sick now, there is a chance that she might get better, just like before" the doctor said in an attempt to lessen my worry. Seeing that his first attemt did not work, he then said "Klara Polzl is a strong person...do not worry yourself, boy" I smiled feebly, yet I could not stop the tear that was to fall from my eye. "I think you should best go to bed" he told me. I did as he said and left for my room to sleep.

The next day, I awoke to a bright morning sun. The rays of its radiant light reached me through my window. Half-willing, I got up from bed and observed the bright sun reflect its rays on the snow white ground. When I grew bored of the scenery, I walked to my mother's room. Softly, I knocked upon the door and patiently waited for a response. At last, I was admitted inside by the doctor, who informed me of my mother's improving condition. Indeed, her face was thrice as colorful as yesterday, and her eyes twinkled serenely as she lay in the bed. With my hopes being restored, I left the room to prepare breakfast for her.

I returned to my mother's room carrying the breakfast I had lovingly made for her. Although she was too weak for speech at the moment, she showed her appreciation by giving me a warm smile. I stayed by her side, along with the doctor, as she ate her breakfast. "As you can see, she has made considerable progress from yesterday. I told you there was no need for you to worry so much" the doctor said cheerfully. I smiled, half-ashamed at my behavior on the previous day.

Sunshine filled my mother's face, its glowing rays giving her the appearance of an angel. "Adolf, can you read to me?" she said softly. I loathed the books she adored, yet all she asked of me was to read to her. Nodding my head in approval, I got up from my chair and retrieved her book from her bedside table. I read to her, and slowly the hours went by, It was lunchtime when we had finished reading her book. Once again, I cooked her the food she loved. I took it up to her room for her to eat. After finishing her meal, she drifted to sleep, and I returned to my own bedroom.

I resumed my post at the window, my favorite place for thinking. I soon grew tired of staring at the unchanging scenery, and like my mother, I fell asleep. However, I was soon awakened by the sound of gentle rain. Not noticing anything troubling occuring inside of my mother's room, I lied in my bed. Closing my eyes, I did nothing but listen to the rain's gentle weeping.

The rain grew steadier, going from gentle drops to the crashing downpour. Strongly, each heavy drop beat against the steady roof. From my window I saw the flash of lightning, followed by the clap of thunder. Soon after, I heard coughing. I followed the sound which lead me to my mother's room. Without waiting for an approval, I opened the door to find my mother in her bed. Her face was a little paler than in the morning. The doctor said that the coughing was due to the winter, and was not much to worry about. Seeing that my mother had stopped coughing, I relaxed for a bit and went back to my room.

Just as before, I stood by my window, watching the rain. Each drop of rain, beautiful yet fragile, was destined to perish as soon as they reached the ground. As the sun died away, the room became colder, and eventually the rain turned into snow. Much like the day before, the ground was covered by a mantle of the whitest snow. I ceased to admire the spectacle only when the coughing of my mother reached my ears. I reached her room and opened the door quickly.

My mother lied in bed, but now her face was whiter than the snow that fell outside. Her pale gray eyes were now as fragile-looking as the drops of rain. The coughing she produced was loud and sounded painful. In the window nearest where my mother lied, the snow was falling rapidly. As time went by, her coughing worsened and her appearance grew more frail. I tried my best to keep her confortable, fluffing her pillow and fixing her blankets from time to time.

I watched helpessly as my mother's coughing quickly worsened. She then stopped coughing and raised her head to meet my eyes. I stared into her eyes and she into mine. Quietly and as best as she could, she said "I love you, Adolf". She smiled at me, and laid back down. The room was in complete silence save the beating of the rain outside. The air grew cold as my mother's gray eyes closed. "Mother" I whispered softly. I knew that at that moment, my mother had breathed her last breath. I knew that never again would I see those beautiful gray eyes. I knew that she had smiled at me for the last time. Never before, in all of my innocence, had I imagined how hard it was to say goodbye.

My grieving was interrupted by the arrival of the doctor. He stared in astonishment at my mother's dead body. His eyes drifted from her to the emptiness in my eyes. "I'm sorry" the doctor said. He then suggested that we go out and give my mother a proper burial. Not wanting to leave my beloved mother this way, I agreed, and we both carried her corpse outside.

By the time we had finished burying my mother's corpse, it was around midningt. "I'll leave you alone now" the doctor said. "Adolf, I am terribly sorry that your mother could not be saved" he said to me before leaving.

I stood alone in the dark, gazing at the falling flakes. The snow on the ground contrasted the ebony, starless sky. The sun's rays of hope were gone, and nothing remained but the freezing darkness of that winter night. The biting cold mercilessly tore at my skin as tears fell from my sorrowful eyes. I then laid in the snow white ground on top of my mother's grave; my entire body bitten by the coldness of it. As I laid there, snow quickly buried most of me, yet it mattered not to me. My mother had died that Christmas Eve, and with her had died all the warmth in the world. In my grief, I lied there, alone in the biting cold on that night on Christmas Eve.....