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Rated: E · Other · Comedy · #1162382
A sneeze and it's complex nature.
As we bid farewell to allergy season and say hello to colds and influenza there is one constant. The sneeze. It's said the eyes are the doorways to the soul. All things being equal the sneeze must be the chimney of our immune system.

Ever notice the vast difference between sneeze length and decibel level? Some people take a deep breath brace and all you hear is a faint ,"tee". While others give no warning and scare the piss out of you. They make that loud Nazi- like grunt. Then you have the multiple sneezer. Most times I can't figure a good time to politely acknowledge this type. Is it done at first or do you let the multiple sneezer tire and console them after eleven or so emit ions?

This brings me to my next question. How did Pagans respond to the sneeze? If you are agnostic do you pay attention to it at all? I maintain even those who have no faith still mutter the obligatory theological phrase. All together now, ' God bless you'.
I heard somewhere evil spirits and pulmonary failure prompted humans to bless the sneezer. Just in case you die while spitting and yelling at the same time we hope you go to heaven. No, 'G b y', when a person has just fallen down and split open their shin. Instead of using 'God bless you', for serious injury, we tape life threatening situations and send them to Americas funniest videos.

We are now told to cough and sneeze in the bend of our elbow instead of the hand. I guess since you can't put your elbow in your ear ,and gross motor function of a vital limb isn't enough. The elbow needs more attention, hence the brave new world theory that a dark warm hinge on the arm will make us all less ill.

Lastly how much dose a sneeze weigh and where is it's final destination? The jet stream? With God, or just all over me?
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