To Pastures new

To Pastures New
(The pain of saying goodbye)

Waiting, at the station, on Platform 1,
For the train that will take me away from here.
Away from the look of fear and concern in her eyes;
She doesn’t want me to go.

Waiting for tears to come, fighting against them,
The sound of my impending transport, gives cause for
the most unyielding embrace ever felt between us,
One I will consider eternally.

‘I’m a big girl now ya know, I’ll be O.K’
Demoralizing words but, mine nonetheless.
In my head the words are – ‘be brave, be strong’
The lump in my throat contradicts them.

I take my seat, trying (failing) to hold my head high,
Gigantic, disobedient, sporadic sobs
Exorcize from every muscle, every nerve of my being
Do I really want to go?