Shadows

         I blinked my eyes and looked around. Everything seemed so much brighter, so much more real. My heart felt lighter, giddy. A feeling of joy coursed through my soul. Such strange feelings after so many years in the dark. I grabbed my chest and wondered what this feeling was..this tiny little burst of excitement that made me draw my breath in shallow gasps. Then I felt a gentle hand grasp mine pulling me further into the light.
         We walked together for what seemed like forever, but still wasn't near long enough. I was shown a happiness where only contentment had resided. I turned to look at the one who had made me feel all these intoxicating emotions, the one who made me see that there was more than just the dark shadows where I lived. I lifted my face to his smiling, tears of happiness brimming in my eyes. He slowly shook his head, let go of my hand and grasped my shoulders turning me away from him. A gentle push against my back made me stumble forward slightly. With a sick feeling in the pit my stomach I saw the darkness ahead of me.
         I started to shake my head violenty, "NO!" my mind screamed. "Oh God, don't make me go back to that emptiness..that endless darkness," I prayed harder than I've ever prayed in my life pleading for him to listen to me. I started to turn to beg, to plead, to do anything that would let me stay in the light, where the happy was. I was turned around forcefully and shoved forward hard where I stumbled and landed on my hands and knees in the shadows. My tears of happiness and hope had turned to tears of hopelesness and despair. I started to crawl towards the door, so far away. The shadows seemed endless. I crawled toward the tiny strip of light that was allowed in from the door with a desperation that bordered on hysteria. No matter how fast I moved the door never got any closer. I scrambled to my feet and began to run. As I approached the the door, towards that beckoning light my heart felt lighter. I was going to make it! I was going to get out! Just as I reached the door it slammed shut. I banged my fists against the door screaming, crying, pleading.          "Don't do this to me, please," I cried in desperation. I ran my hands all over the door feeling for a doorknob. There wasn't one. I heard a loud "click" from the outside, I'd been locked in! I layed my cheek against the door and let the tears fall. There was no way out. I slid down the door turning slowly to where my back was flat against it as I sank to the floor. I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them as I looked into the neverending darkness. I was back where I had begun. This time I knew I'd be staying forever. I laid my face on my knees and stared into the darkness. My home.