The Unsaid Makes For Better Conversation

I was really nervous about tonight. I had a date. And not just any date, I was going out with Sebastien. The boy I had been in love with since 10th grade.

"Briiiiing. Briiiiing. Bri--”

“Hello?”

He picked up the phone before I could figure out how I wanted to greet him. So I sort of squeaked out the first thing that popped into my head.

“Hi Bastien. Uh... I mean Sebastien, Sebastien... ‘cause that’s your name and all...”

That was more than embarrassing. I just wanted to hang up and die.

“Yeah, I’m Sebastienan. Who’s this?”

“A-A-Aidan. Remember me? We ha-have a date tomorrow night...”

“Oh yeah! Hey Aidan. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You know, friend stuff.”

He chuckled nervously. I knew I had just gotten strike two.

“Yeah, friend stuff. Because we’re friends, right? You know, you don’t have to be all nervous when you talk to me... I’m just like any other guy.”

But he was most certainly not like any other guy... he was a guy that asked me out on a date. And I hope it wasn’t that obvious that this was my first one.

“You’re not like any other guy Sebastien.”

“Why not?”

I was too nervous to keep going with that conversation. So I just left it alone and went on to something else... about school of course.

“So... that chemistry homework was so tough. I almost threw it away until I got to the second page and realized that all the answers for the first were on there...”

He chuckled again. This time, it was more of a friendly chuckle. Like I had really made a joke or something.

“Yeah man. I saw that too... I like chemistry, though. It’s pretty much my favorite class... ‘cause you’re in it with me and all...”

I swore on everything that was holy that he just said he liked his chem class because I was in it with him, but I know I was just hearing shit, right?

“Huh?”

All I could manage was a ‘huh?’. I’m so stupid. The most life-altering moment in my existence was about to take place in less than 24 hours and the boy of my dreams is basically telling me he loves me, but all I can say is ‘huh?’. What a moron I must be...

“I said, I like chemistry because I like having you as a study partner.”

Study partner? Oh... well that’s awesome too.

“Oh. Cool. Yeah, well I gotta go. I have to finish my calc homework. Now that’s a horrible mess.”

Chuckle three for the night happened.

“Okay, I love calculus. It’s like, my calling or something. Do you need help?”

“Are you offering?”

“Yeah. Want me to come over later? Or I can come get you and we can go to the library near my house... it’s open late on Thursday nights...”

“Why?”

Oh god. Don’t ask questions, stupid.

“Why is the library open late? I have no idea... but I think it’d be better if I just came over to your place. Would your mom mind?”

Mind? That bitch is crazy... and probably not even here right now.

“No. She’s not home. You can come over.”

I could hear him moving around on the other end of the phone. Then I heard a ‘click’.

“What was that?”

“Oh, I plugged in my earpiece.”

“Why?”

There goes that chuckle again.

“Why do you ask so many questions Mr. Smith?”

“I don’t know... I guess I’m just nosy.”

Dammit. Why can’t I be better at this?

“Seems to me like you just like to know everything that’s going on. Especially when it has something to do with you. That’s cool... Oh, hold on for a sec.”

I heard more shuffling, then a door open. Then very heavy footsteps... down the stairs? Then a ‘bye mom!’. Then another door open and shut.

“Hello?”

He was breathing very hard. It was kind of turning me on. I knew I shouldn’t be thinking things like the thoughts that were going through my head... but ohmigod! I couldn’t help it... I suddenly heard the car door open and shut.

“Hello? Aidan... you still there?”

“Oh... yeah. I’m all here.”

This time it wasn’t a chuckle. It was a laugh. Like I made one of the most hilarious jokes he’s ever heard.

“That’s good. I just pulled out of my driveway... What are you doing right now? It sounds like you just ran a mile...”

Oh boy. So much for not being obvious, huh? I stood up and realized that my bulge was a tad bigger than usual.

“Damn!”

“What? What happened?”

Ooops.

“Nothing. I just spilled Pepsi on the carpet. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay...”

Pepsi my ass. I had to rid myself of the erection that had been summoned ever-so-quickly by Sebastien. I don’t really know how to do it without hanging up the phone and getting my sophomore yearbook and turning to page 164.

Instead, I picked my phone back up and to my surprise, he was singing some 80's tune... the one about ‘working as a waitress in a cocktail bar...’. Good song, just never expected to hear Sebastien singing it.

“Don’t, don’t you want me? I know you can’t– Aidan? There you go breathing like a horny little boy again.”

“Oh, you have no idea...”

“What?”

Um... I hope that doesn’t mean what I think it does...

“I have no idea, eh? Of how horny you are, am I right?”

Shit. Fuck. God dammit. Bitch! You know, they should make a super swear word. One big one so that after I said it, I could go crawl into a hole just as large.

“That’s not what I said.”

I lied. I couldn’t help it.

“Yes it is. Why are you trying to pretend like you didn’t say it? Are you embarrassed?”

“Hell no.”

Some more of that lying bullshit. But obviously he was a lot smarter than that. I guess that was a good thing... well, not for me right this moment.

“So what are you afraid of? Because you know I’m not buying that shit, right? Oh yeah, I’m about to be at your street in like, three minutes.”

Oh shit. Looks like I’ve been caught. And it could only get worse form here, right?

“I just turned down you street, Aidan...”

I thought he said three minutes?! Damn. I still have a hard-on?! FUCK!

“Look Sebastien... this is pretty weird for me... you know, you coming over to my house and all. It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of since we were in algebra together in tenth grade...”

Damn. I talk too much. But it looks like I’m not going to stop expelling all my secrets quite yet tonight.

“Yeah, and I’ve had the biggest crush on you for most of my high school career. It’s rather pathetic now that I think about it. But now I’m telling you all of this and I can’t seem to stop myself. But I guess it’s better out than in right? Right? Sebastien!?”

I was beyond freaking out right now. All I needed was for him to start laughing hysterically and tell me to take my ass somewhere.

“Sebastien!!”

“Yeah, I’m still here. I was just processing everything that you said in the past two minutes... And I don’t know what to say...”

He doesn’t know what to say? Well, as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best thing that he could’ve said to me right now. The best thing... well, besides ‘Oh Aidan, I love you too...’. But yeah...

“Oh... well, you don’t have to say anything. I think--”

“No, I do have to say something. I want to tell you that... I asked you on that date because I thought we were friends? You know, the types of friends that could go on fun dates and shit like that. I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything like that. And I’m really sorry if I did...”

Oh.

“Oh no. you didn’t lead me on or anything. I knew we were just going as friends. I mean, what else?”

I was lying and I think he knew it. I got up and pulled the blinds open. His car was parked in front of my house. He was leaning against the passenger door, and I saw nothing that looked like calculus assignments in his possession. He was staring right at my window, staring right at me as we spoke to each other.

“Aidan, I’m so sorry. I guess I should’ve told you sooner, eh?”

Yeah. That would’ve been nice.

“Look, do you still wanna study tonight...? I’d completely understand if you didn’t...”

I did want to study tonight.

“Okay, I’ll tell you what, Aidan. We’ll make tomorrow’s date a study date. And I’ll go home, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. That sounds like a plan...”

“Sweet. Well, I guess we can hang up now, right?”

I heard that chuckle, the last one of the night.

“Yeah. Bye, man. We’ll talk tomorrow in chem.”

“Tomorrow then, third period as usual. Friends, as usual.”

“Yeah, Aidan. Friends.”

He hung up and got back into his car. I watched him drive away and I closed my blinds back up.

“Oh shit.”

I have a calculus test tomorrow, first period.