Ye Olde Archaism

Coal says "Herein lieth the truth- The Queen of West Balhfiue desires an heir to the throne however she is told her days are few, and must soon bequeath a child. "

Coal says "I am sent to find a suitable sire to the Queen, a nobleman unsurpassed in wit and skill who will giveth all of Himself unto Her for the most endofallbeall of most loyal causes. "

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Sire! You have cometh to the right place for here be the place of I. Let the noble Queen of West Balhfiue be alerted to my coming for before the night is o'er I shall be beside her side."

Coal says "It is done, milord. *exits backward, in same dusty tracks*"

deemac says "Tarry varlet! Exit thee not! Prithee convey to the *deemac hastily cutteth-and-pasteth* "Queen of West Balhfiue" mine desire that this too, too humble liege shall ever be at Her Majesty's behest."

Rebecca Laffar-Smith says "Aye, it wouldst seem that thoust art now to convey how enamoured of her heart art many a gentleman. Thou Queen has but to take her honorable chuse of any that wouldst give her greatest pleasure."

Gayle ♪♪♪ says "Ode to the genteel man, he who hath soft warm hands. Kind to all man and beast; Thee feeds me from thy healing feast. "

Rebecca Laffar-Smith says "*sits in quiet contemplation* Oh wonderst I where thoust might have gone. Thy gentle Queen has whisked away all merry suitor and left naught to enliven a lonely lass with merry mischief under the moon."

deemac says "But still! What light through yonder window shines? Could it be she, whisking away? I must away to trim mine own whisker."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Dost thou once more whisper of whiskers and whiskey? Shall I lay out the cards for a game of Whist, my Lord, and fetch the boy to whistle a tune for thee?"

Rebecca Laffar-Smith says "Pray do, goodfellow, and we shall while away his mischief with a turn, a river and a finger. I'll wager a covey of pidgeons against your english mare on a trumping house."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Well met, lass! I see your covey of pigeons and raise you a roll in the hay. Barmaid! Another whiskey for my wistful whistling Whist-playing pal!"

The Masked Potato says "Nay, wench, best thou maketh that a pair of whiskeys, one for yon fair lady, and another to quench mine own thirst."

Rebecca Laffar-Smith says "Well met our masked new friend. Thine thirst must be great indeed and a whiskey shall be forthcoming hence. Pray tell, where hast thou travels taken thee that thou should brighten our thresh?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "He has traveled not at all, my Lady. Dost not thou recognize your own pig boy, now cleaned of his coat of mud and slops and dressed instead in the cast off garments of the late Duke? Does my Lady laugh? A fine jest indeed, eh?"

The Masked Potato says " Forsooth, I would fain be made into french fries, rather than believe that thy duke did garb himself belike a potato."

Rebecca Laffar-Smith says "*laughing merrily* Indeed Sir Steve, thy humour ranks thee amongst the lively comedics. Perhaps thou wouldst perform for Her Majesty. Thy fools wit would bring much cheer to court."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "'Tis indeed only the fancy fingers of the French that maketh properly merry with potato, goose, or truffle, but if my Lady permits, these foolish fingers will tickle her fancy and make merry with her secret until she doth swoon and sigh."

Rebecca Laffar-Smith says "*gasps* "How darest thee condemn a ladies virtue with offerings such as these. Beware else mine own guards be called. Thou wouldst swiftly lose thy humour with thou neck gracing a hangman's noose."

The Masked Potato says " zounds! hast sense flown from thy head? Shame on thee, for threatening a guest in thine own demesne."

The Masked Potato says "Although, verily I believe Sir Steve would dance a merry jig did he dangle from the gallows."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Methinks the merriment in here has overflowed reason's bounds and would best be restrained. Musicians, play soft music for my Lady and her Potato in hopes they might regain their good humour and banish their demons of anger and sarcasm."

The Masked Potato says " Ah! Do mine ears discern the faint and heavenly strains of that great bard, Al the Weird?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "I hear nothing, my lord, but then mine ears are nowhere so great and magnificent as thine. No doubt with ears like those thou can hearest a fly land on a marshmallow."

Rebecca Laffar-Smith says "Such silence captures naught of thy rain outside thine window. Where hast thou merry followers fled this night fair? Tis been lengthy interludes. Oft lonely doves aloft thine rafters coo in vain."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "If thou wouldst clean up after thine doves then perhaps some guests might be inclined to dine at thine table were it not laden with the offal of pigeons."

pentatonic says "Wherefore pigeons? What, Ho!"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Nay, she be not a Ho but simply enjoyest the wearing of low-cut frocks and the tightest tights and if a lad wishes to slip her a coin or two, tis just a lovers gift."

pentatonic says "Have at you, gnave! To yonder lass pertaineth honor far greater than thine!"

deemac says "Yea scurvy varlet! Take back thine evil groat and away with thee ere the maiden's father setteth his hound upon thy chops!"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "I fear it not, foolish groat-lover. Let the old man's canines feast upon my trichinosis-infected pork slices. What care I if it transpire that his hell-hounds sicken and die?"

Rebecca Laffar-Smith says "Fear not, for mine father spends much time amongst the offal of pidgeons with a flagon of ale to beguile senses more stout than thine. Thou dost insult thine own mother, for 'tis hands that held thou tender pork didst make mine corset gowns."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Art thou calling my Mama a corset maker? Be it knownst thou Mama is so grossly corpulent that when she sitteth around the house, she sitteth AROUND the house."

Rebecca Laffar-Smith says "Must thou insist on defamating the virtue of all feminine kindness. Thou may haft been raised amongst thy father's pigs for such art thou manners. Thy mother is a gentle woman who dost sit upon thine parlor dainties darning thy socks and undershorts."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Darn these darned darned undershorts with their rough and irregular seams. The darn dame that darneth these darned darn poorly I dost believe. And thou, fair maiden? Dost thou darnest well?"

Coal says "Excuseth mine unbridled steed for such intrusion into such concubine of weaving. Moreso I beggeth thee to pardon mine English, which has been affected of late by the fermented juices of the vine. "

deemac says ""Tarry not sire, else shall I summon a Bow Street Runner to apprehend thee as in charge of a charger while under the influence. Be off to the rodeo!" Exits calling out, "Rodeo Rodeo, wherefore art thou Rodeo?""

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Methoughts he wouldst never leave. Why doth this In&Out attracteth the riff raff in such fruitful abundance?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Thou art a hawk with a sharp eye. Tis most unfortunate thy tongue can match thine eye for sharpness and yet, though cut by same, I can nevertheless agree with thy assessment of the sorry state of my hosiery."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Methinks thy words doth transport more meaning than what dost upon the surface lie, for indeed my mother is no seamstress and possesseth not a needle, and therefore that which is called by thee a needle, a needle might not be. Eh?"

pentatonic says "Forsooth."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Quoth the Raven: skrrrrk! But I a poet? No claim to that claim I. I am but a humble bumbleboy who hastens forth with muffins for the visitors to the faire, be they highborn gentry or the lowliest of the low. Worry not I where my muffins go."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Aye, the tama be extremely testy this year but whether they lie in the wanhako or in the winheko, there be the conundrum what roils the brain and tries the wit of even the hardiest of these my mates."

Dave has company says "Methinks the conundrum confounds the contumelious horde of scriptophrenic dingbats as we waddle through the twaddle in our writing nook to ponder septentrional poppycock and dirty socks. "

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Poppycock I will gladly ponder, sir, but if thy dirty socks are to be at the focal point of our concentration, then I respectfully decline the offer."

Rebecca Laffar-Smith says "I hath met another like of mind, who writes so verily in tongue of yore. Thus I share to, in hope, I find that which doth delight thou eye and ear: https://scontent-a-atl.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/t1.0-9/1780788_1015184405721282..."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Thy link doth worketh not, though thy honeyed tongue doth tempt me to try it again and again."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Upon hearing your words a fear did grip me that I was but lost in a dream formed of my own desires, a misty thing of the mind lacking in that substance necessary for true existence. Alas, your continued silence now confirms that fear.Truly, I am alone."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "If it be true that we two are one no more, but have once again drifted apart like dust motes in the sunbeam of existence, each to go his own way carried by the random currents of Fate, then I shall spend tonight in sorrow, but tomorrow is another day."

Rebecca Laffar-Smith says "Ne'r a one of lone existence be, though distance time unbending makes it seem for in each moment ne'r we of place in same. So oft' we find ourselves aloft, away, but other means of connection may be found."

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